Entries 55
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A Nagging Thought
That a large portion of my life is only as good as the people that this coordinator hires. And not only that, but is only as good as the shit that they give on any particular day. And it's dri...
I misunderstood
What she said before she came over, that even if she came over it wouldn't change anything, that we were still going to end. That's not how I read what she said... I thought there was still hope...
I gave you everything
I had to give Fuck you I treated you well I loved you more than I'd loved anyone Fuck you And your empty fucking words It's one thing to act like an asshole and not know it, it's a...
Worst. Day. Ever.
I cried so much today I turned into a little bitch. Honestly, what even is this? I don't understand what is happening.... I can deal with heaven, I can handle hell, but this fucking purg...
Letter 92: Home
Hey, Friend Sorry I haven't written, the last few months have been have been a whirlwind of failures, successes, and unexpected events. I hope you've been well. I saw your mother the other day...
This feels like self-loathing but I swear it's not
I am no one...I am nothing...just half a man doing his best to look like a whole one. It's the way I've felt for I dunno how long. 20 some years, I suppose. I fail at more things than I finis...
Quick Breaths
It’s so late at nightAnd the TV’s onWe should be watching the showBut I can’t stop thinking,About you lying next to meMy fingers tracing lines across your bare skinSoft kisses on your shoulderY...
Note To Self
How often is it that you find a person that's willing to put up with your bullshit? Not often, really. You have work stuff, family stuff, decades-old you-cant-let-go-of-but-really-should st...
Predetermined
Between October and yesterday, other than that tournament earlier this year, I have watched precisely 2 minutes of hockey this year and I have to say ...the fact that it included douche canoe ...
Dreams
I had a dream last night that you were somewhere in the room And I didn't know for sure, I just knew that you were there I felt your presence on my back and on my shoulders And I slept li...
Untitled
I don't know if this is for you. I don't know if you need this. I don't know if you want this. I can't let it go. I just need to let it go. I keep this in...to myself I never wanted t...
In the moment
I want to feel the dirty hurt I want to lay it on the line I want to inhale And exhale saying that love was what I gave it all for I don't want to leave it all unsaid I don't want to...
The Playlist
I made the playlist...She made one ... We put them together... It's shared...it's a metaphor...for the thing that we are building. And I am not setting the pace. See... Usually it's me drivin...
Double Shot of Bliss
These darkened halls don't hide all the stories my soul has to tell But when I move to flick off the light cuz the night bleeds into the day I can't feel it inside anymore, it's like it doesn'...
I Just Couldn't Not
See, I did a thing once and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing beforehand. I didn't think it was. But I really wanted to do it. I was in the place a couple days before and I saw the thing and...
I feel like this...
I feel like this fucking song... And I feel so dumb about it. I made somebody a fucking playlist like a 15-year-old. I mean, it was a good playlist but still. I'm constantly flicking my finge...
Be Awake For This
My eyes don’t need to see the things you do I can sense it just fine In the quiet evening moments With your arms slung around my neck I take you in and I know everything I need to And I...
This Is The Fruit We Bear
Save your words, These days they’ll fall on deaf ears I’m not the one to put you back together this time You’re pushing against the waves that will not succumb to the tide Who are you to wa...
Letter #90
With a bullet I wish you were here, It's been a minute since we've been in the same place at the same time but I fully blame your jet-set lifestyle. I take comfort in the fact that you'll ...
Notes Scrawled in Lipstick
Your blonde and red hair reminds me that we can be young for as long as we want to be... Which is wonderful because I don't know for how long or how gracefully I can grow old... It all happe...
Structure
She wants to make my life better, she says. But... She says I deserve it. But... She says that I make her happy. But... I don't know if I believe it. And then there's the dynamic. She crav...
Calm Like A Bomb
hah, I didn't even last a day. Anyway, I asked an ex the other day if she remembers how calm I used to be in stressful situations and/or crises and how it'd sometimes tick 'em off. I said I'...
Jan 2
I am going to write something in here everyday until December 31st (probably not) and it's going to be amazing (probably not) and you will all read it in wonder (probably not). Anyway, I can'...
AHHH
Coincidences abound...she was the one from that night. What are the chances? I wish my fingers would wake up...a covid side effect? It's Christmas. Praise Jesus!
From The Vault
This pressure keeps building Step off my chest and let me breathe I know all the things you’ll say Save ‘em, I don’t want to hear ‘em I’m fucking done with your theatrics I can’t keep ...
