Entries 30
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goodbye, sweet friend.
we lost our sweet frank tuesday. i have been a mess all week, honestly. i’m not ashamed and anyone who felt the need to tell me “it’s just a dog” can fuck themselves. he was a part of our family ...
to encapsulate my day...
i can say it sucked from the moment my feet hit the floor. it just snowballed into more and more nonsense til i eventually ended up in the bathroom at work and cried for 10 minutes. that’s a good...
10/18/2014
five years ago today, at 4:23am, my grandmother passed away. she entered a nursing home in april at the recommendation of her doctor to rehab a bruised hip; she died october 18th, 2009 from a sec...
10/17
every single day i feel like a burden. when i call people who insist i call and chat and the calls only go to voicemail, how else should i feel. work sucks the fucking life out of me on a daily b...
it's too early for brr.
i’m currently in burrito/cocoon mode. the words “frost advisory” were just repeated to me and i refuse to process then. it’s barely october, can we wait to freeze for at least another month!? whe...
adulthood? thanks, i'll pass.
my former best friend’s wedding was yesterday. she and i had drifted apart after i left the job she and i had together and went to the census bureau. at that time she had just gotten engaged and ...
ramblings.
i took a trip down memory lane on my livejournal this evening. i joined there in 2004 so there’s plenty to read and sift through. i’ve never fancied myself a “writer” but there’s plenty of poems ...
rain.
i remember that night like it just happened down to what you were wearing. there was laughter and lights and nonsense plenty of running and lots of swearing. you sat on the swing to my right and ...
a couple steps closer.
as of last week (august 20th) i am down 29 lbs. i am 15 lbs from my goal weight. it feels so good to be so close finally. the jeans i bought are already a little lose but i won’t be replacing the...
ah, the journey of fitness.
i broke down and looked at jeans today. i'd been putting it off due to the cost of "distressed" styles. i'm not paying more for a pair that are covered in holes because that's "in". i just need j...
somehow poking through real estate listings online resulted in my having a meltdown of semi-epic proportions. 10 years ago i used to hang out kinda hap hazardously with the "scene kids"; the ones...
off the grid.
i deactivated my facebook account today. there's too much drama and nonsense on there that cause so much trouble, it isn't worth having if it isn't fun or at the very least useful. i need to refo...
oh, the memories.
i confided in my friend about something i could've gone another 20 years not ever saying. he was scanning through his music on his phone and asking if i had heard certain songs. most i had, he's ...
things.
i don't smoke and i don't care if someone else wants to but when i can't sit on my own porch and enjoy the air because the people who congregate on the steps are smoking like chimneys, yes i get ...
one is the loneliest number.
i told i don't get out enough, i need to socialize more, and stop staying in so much. when the rare moment comes over me and i do want to go do something like grab a meal or hit the park up the r...
early. or late.
i'm awake at 2:08am for no real reason. i told myself earlier in the evening that i'd go to bed at a decent hour so i could get up and get some things done early and enjoy the rest of my day off....
29... well, that's dandy and fine.
this time next year i'll be talking about turning 30, as i turned 29 today. while my birthday may mean diddle to someone else it's a big deal to me. if anything it just means i'm still here regar...
rain, rain stick around.
i'm hoping the rain isn't done for the night. i thought i'd be a little leery about storms in my new place but they're rather comforting. on march 2nd, 2012 my house and my family just barely mis...
caloric takedown.
i've gotten serious about getting in shape. i've been overweight most of my life; i've beaten myself up for looking the way i do. it's no one's fault but my own so i'm finally taking control. i'v...
i am apparently the cheese that stands alone.
i've been in this apartment now for a month and have yet to have anyone over except for the only coworker i like. his height helps me hang stuff and i offer him a peaceful place to decompress aft...
new american classic.
there's a song i physically cannot listen to. if i try or even consider playing it i get instantly upset and almost inconsolable. the tie it has to a particular time in my life i just can't think...
<3
i wish i could just tell you the exact thing i'm thinking. most times i do and you always tell me "you can tell me anything". except this anything would require a leap of faith i'd really like to...
float on.
i drank eighty ounces of water saturday and felt like i was floating. it kept me full and of course constantly having to use the facilities but things in that area have literally cleared up (not ...
blerg.
i'm supposed to be moving but apparently my calls about a move-in date are staying unanswered til who knows when. they started painting last week and i know it wouldn't take that long to paint a ...
ten years (again)
ten years ago today i kissed this boy for the first time. i remember it like it was just this afternoon, down to where we were and what we were each wearing. it's burned in my brain... i'll proba...
Book Description
… so this is my book.
