i broke down and looked at jeans today. i'd been putting it off due to the cost of "distressed" styles. i'm not paying more for a pair that are covered in holes because that's "in". i just need jeans that are functional and will fit. so i went in with a little hesitation, mostly from worrying that i haven't lost as much weight as i thought. after finding a pair that wasn't all blown to bits i bit the bullet and tried them on. they fit... which means i'm down 3 sizes and that i have actually lost that much. as of yesterday i am down 22 lbs. :)
when people ask how i feel i usually joke and respond "hungry". truth is i've gotten really good about sugar and too much salt; i haven't had caffeine since last monday. i throw a gatorade in once in awhile because water gets boring. i measure out my portions and make sure to listen to my body to know when it's hungry or when it's bored. my workouts are pretty standard but i use pinterest to mix them up. i have a board i pick from for exercises as well recipes and ways to stay away from bad habits. part of it has been having to watch my funds, lol so i don't have extra to blow on junk food or takeout. my driver's side window has been either stuck or the motor is burned out and i credit that for not hitting a drive-thru on my way home. i have a/c so i've left it alone, haha.
i'm not gonna lie, it feels awesome when someone tells me how great i look. that means i'm actually doing it, i'm actually getting healthy and finally feeling good about myself. i'm never gonna have a thigh gap, i'm never gonna look like miranda kerr (who is just supremely gorgeous) and that's okay. i'm still struggling with my self-esteem in this journey; there are days when i feel disgusting and awful but after i clear the fog i remember i'm doing better than i ever have. i'm never gonna be super thin or skinny... i just want to be healthy and lean with muscle structure. :)
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