Entries 1,723
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Eight Things
1. It’s a numbers thing: Weight is finally heading back to normal. I don’t know why I’m surprised that my weight inches up when I take my eye off the ball. I’ve been writing this stuff down for...
Elegant Exit
There’s a term that the new CEO at my company uses to address a portion of the business that is no longer viable and we want to get out of smoothly, and that’s “elegantly exit”. In other words, ...
Weekends = Crazies
…and I do literally mean mentally ill-grade crazy. Let’s see. Where shall I begin? Last weekend. Crazy #1: I’d gone for my big weekly walk-and-talk with SP (no grief, please – it’s therape...
08/08/08
I've started no less than three entries this week and I can't seem to get the words out. Today, August 8th, would have been my 6th Wedding Anniversary with Bryan had we married. How strange to ...
Updates on Various
Work: Maybe I’m just bored, but I’m just not into it right now, and I really, really should be! Right now is the time I should be striking while the iron is hot. I should be spending more of my...
Action Steps
Hello. How are things? I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m going in life and what I want to do with myself. I gotta say (over and over and over), it’s time to start living and to stop wai...
Days Fly By
The days sure do fly by. I started writing this on Wednesday. It’s now Friday. Here’s what I wrote and then I’ll continue: Wednesday, July 16th Another day, another day. We all get older. ...
Listy
Whelp, weekend has come and gone and I did have a nice one. And yes, I saw SP. And I’m beginning/continuing to feel a little bit foolish. Thing is, I do miss him when we’re apart. And I do wo...
Lost Weekends
Wrote an entry yesterday that just made me want to gag, so it’s private. Over the last couple of weekends, I’ve had amazing, amazing times. First, it was a lost weekend in a town close by – fan...
Stalemate
Let's backtrack six weeks. I was on my way to feeling OK about where I was in terms of grief. Well, maybe I wasn't. I was still on the floor and crying my heart out most nights, but when I was...
Back From China
Went to China and then came back. I normally dread the trip and this time was no different. These trips (I go to China twice a year) are extremely stressful as I have so much to get done while...
Mega Updates
So much, so much to update. I guess I’ll just dig right in. The Bulldog has been hanging around and it’s been fun. I guess the last time I wrote, he was in and out and in and out. And it was ...
Too Heavy
I am an idiot. Yes, I’ve heard back from The Bulldog, but it has been in fits and starts. In a matter of a couple of weeks, we’ve gone like this: Texts --> Innuendo Texts --> Sexts --&...
Good News/Bad News
Well, good news/bad news with The Bulldog. I saw him again on Saturday!! Totally impromptu, but totally great! We had texted a lot on Friday and into Saturday and I was just having so much fu...
Swoony and Weird
Last evening, about an hour after I wrote my last entry, I decided to take The Bull(dog) by the horns and ask him to join me for a drink! I told him that he could come or not, but I was going to...
Briefs
So yeah. What’s new? State of My Grief: I don’t know, you guys. Here’s the latest I’ve been thinking about recently – he’s taking someone else on MY vacation!! Back months ago, SP invited me...
Weekend Update
It was Easter Weekend, and that meant that I had Good Friday off of work (aaaaahhhh), and it was a lovely, lovely, phenomenally beautiful weekend. Unfortunately for me, I had the worst two-day h...
High Point/Low Point
I think that feeling OK this past week or so was nature's way of giving me a survival tactic. Just when I think I'm going to be fine, BOOM, another big wave of sorrow and grief. I had it bad la...
RAD: Clark
Name: Clark (name changed) Age: 52 Status: Divorced for around 4-5 years Job: Bank Vice President Lives: In a kind of fancy neighborhood about 10 miles from my downtown place. He Wore: Pl...
Missing.
Believe it or not, I owe you not one, but TWO Rate-A-Dates! Yeah, this is probably not the right thing to do while nursing a heartache, but it is helping with the weirdness. As Bulldog says, ha...
The Blues and The Bulldog
Started to write an entry yesterday on such a gloomy, rainy Sunday. But I felt like I wanted to get outside, so I went for a walk after the rain let up a little bit, and then you know what? The...
Updates on Various *SMV
*Slightly Manic Version State of My Heart: Grieving continues, but something strange has happened. My heart somehow feels some kind of relief - already! I’m worried a little bit that I m...
A Slightly Better Day
Today was a better day, a little. SP was my first thought this morning and that made me cry a little and I had a few bouts during the day, but it was also a very busy day and that helped. Not l...
A New Week
Not sure what I’m going to do today to keep these obsessive thoughts out of my head. The weekend was insane, and I mean that fairly literally. I didn’t do myself any favors yesterday. I’ve sig...
Low Point
Wrote this to someone earlier today: "How is it possible that I'm feeling worse than ever today than last weekend about this breakup? I've deleted each and every way to check on his whereabouts ...
Book Description
…continued.
