Entries 138
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Languishing
I’m ultimately sitting in the “in-between.” I’m not depressed, sad or upset - but I’m not happy. My task is to recognize what feeling has gone silent that I wish would come back? At first, the v...
Which way is up?
Lately, I have been extremely busy and at the same time accomplishing absolutely nothing. The lifestyle change with my eating has me down 18 lbs. Management is almost happy. They have booked a...
What Was She Thinking?
Took an out of town road trip. Drove to my favorite place and decided to hang out a few days. I went to see the F1 movie in IMAX - well worth it. I was waiting for the movie and was sitting in...
A Much Needed Follow-up
I’ve been doing a lot of personal work lately — emotionally, mentally, even spiritually — and I realized that some of what I shared in my last post may have hit harder or landed differently than...
Learned a New Word
Today, I learned a new word. The word is- “Fawning.” Apparently, this is my personality. According to the resources I have been looking into, it is also a survival mechanism. That’s right, I’m...
You See What I Want You To See
Lately, I’ve been trying to see myself how others see me. I’m very one tracked. I can’t juggle relationships or friendships outside of social media apparently. I’ll mostly always be there for an...
Full Weekend and One More Show
Friday afternoon I set out by myself to sit in with band at a friend’s request. They hired me to play keyboard for the night and after driving two hours the venue forgot the keyboard promised so...
It's been a minute
Management and PR has me on this clean eating diet to satisfy their upcoming photoshoot and social media push. I was nominated for a couple of awards in Nashville later this year. Tonight, I fin...
What do I do Now?
Recently, I stumbled upon a revelation that growing up I would be rewarded for invisibility. The more I stayed out of the way, the more I was rewarded. It makes so much sense now. Even now, as a...
The Stupidity of Me
I spent the last few days withholding my humorous (to only me) sarcasm and biting my tongue to keep from saying something she doesn’t like. I did this for, maybe a moment we don’t normally get. ...
Observation
The way my brain works is a mystery sometimes. The thoughts that run through it, that I keep to myself, make me wonder. When I was a kid I had a very vivid imagination. I believed that we were b...
Always Happens
I have a busy and hectic day on Wednesday and here I am wide awake. I was supposed to be in bed 3 hours ago. I’ve laid my phone down, turned off the television - did all the Jedi mind tricks I c...
Hurry up and Weight
A lot of what I do depends on image whether I want to admit it or not. I took control of it 7 years ago and almost let it get away from me again. I keep having to remind myself that I am definit...
On the road again
Played a show and had a guy walk up after and asked if he could pray for me but before he did shared something with me. He looked me into the eye and said - there’s a song you are going to write...
I'm Addicted To Connection
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a recovering introvert, but I’m not fully recovered. There are parts of me that the introvert still exists. I’ve been told that’s the part that makes me the f...
Lyric Magazines
Does anyone remember these? When I was a kid one of my hobbies was hitting the magazine aisle of the store while my mom shopped for groceries. I would go through Mad, Hits, Guns, and anything el...
The Memory is Still Embarrassing
When I was a teenager I found it way too easy to believe I loved any girl that looked at me and caused that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. I had no proper role model to teach me other...
My Diet has been suffering
Lately, for whatever reason, my diet has taken a backseat to emotional eating. I feel myself slipping. I’ve been doing so well over the last 6 years and lately I have been slacking. I have a f...
Present, In the Moment
I played a show tonight that took me 2 hours from home. It was a restaurant venue. They told me after that there was 15 people there. Before the show, I was eating a ton of humble pie. The last ...
Something is on the Horizon
....and I’m afraid, it’s not good. I am finding myself not eating right lately - and it’s more so out of emotional issues. I’m noticing an extra amount of procrastinating too and it’s like I’m ...
This Should Be Fun
In the last few years I have worked on being in the best shape I’ve been since I was a teenager. However, and apparently, all the years touring and eating what I wanted has taken an irreversible...
Creativity Still Exists
I managed somehow to get inspired to write a new song. I’m amazed that the topic of the song was my grandfather. Why does that amaze me? May is simultaneously his birthday month and the month ...
Perspective
Lately, I have been thinking. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a lot to be grateful for. Despite the hardships that I may have had growing up - mine don’t compare to some that were way wo...
Faced with my past
I was watching a documentary about a famous person that ultimately took their own life. They had spent a long time with anxiety and panic attacks. This was a slap in my face because I deal with ...
Getting Out Of My Feels
Geez! Lately, I have been getting into my feels. I have spent my entire life basically detached from everything. A few times in my life I have leaned into allowing someone to know my true feelin...
Book Description
The path my life has taken has left me with more questions than answers. I always believed that whatever you dreamed and worked hard for it would happen. At some point I woke up and the 9 year old little boy who dreamed of selling out stadiums and playing music apparently, was never born.
