Entries 19

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Letting go—it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It comes with a lot of different things, mostly acceptance of things that I didn’t want to admit for the past few years and everythi...

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For once, I feel like writing—and not about my ex. I don’t know what I want to write about, but I feel a need to express myself. So here I sit, on my balcony, absolutely hating the screaming kids...

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I’m slowly rediscovering my motivation to study in school. It’s coming back, slowly, but surely. This evening was the first time that I really sad down to make a study guide since moving to my ne...

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Music always hits me with the feels. Tonight, it’s Wrong Direction by Hailey Steinfeld. I’ve never heard it before, but from the first few verses, I felt it. I don’t hate you No, I couldn’t if I...

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I’m beginning to embrace my independent, strong-willed, and free spirited personality. My ex always made me feel so bad about being independent. And even after we broke up, I realized that he con...

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Last night, I went on a date. And it turned out to be really fun. It was totally spontaneous and so unlike what I was used to from my previous marriage. The guy was 15 minutes late and nothing se...

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So my therapist is amazing. She’s kind of a magician. Last night and this morning, I felt an anger and resentment that I haven’t felt in so long. I certainly was not happy about having those feel...

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I had a really great trip to Florida for the last couple of weeks. It made me so grateful for the support system that I have and my incredible friends. Being around them totally made me forget ab...

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Welp. Today was supposed to be 12 years with my ex-husband. Side note: I actually suck at writing journals unless it’s about relationships and I hate that. I know that I’m not defined by him or ...

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I forgot how good it feels to take walks after dinner. When my soon-to-be ex-husband were on a break, I walked every night for at least an hour. I needed it; it was the only thing that could calm...

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What a crazy couple of days. Just wow. I’m so speechless in so many ways. I’m not religious at all, and I’m barely spiritual. However, I very strongly believe in a few things that is very contra...

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Today was a little on the tougher side. I decided to go to a nature park with Iris to take some photos this afternoon. Little did I know, it was right around the corner from my ex-husband’s apart...

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I had the weirdest dream last night that’s been lingering in my mind all day. I don’t know why it won’t go away. I dreamt that I was talking to Clay and he was telling me that he and his girlfrie...

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My ex-husband’s 21 year old girlfriend is visiting again from Pittsburgh this week. They just saw each other 3 weeks ago. I’ve never met her, but I hate her. But I guess I don’t really hate HER, ...

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I’ve been feeling particularly sad this evening. I suddenly had flashbacks and memories come to mind from our honeymoon; specifically, the fireplace in our suite, being alone in the hotel restaur...

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Hello, world. Today, I went hiking with my soon-to-be ex-husband. He really wants us to be friends, and I feel bad for him because he’s never made an effort to make friends. He wanted the relatio...

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It’s been a splendid Friday, but maybe I feel that way because I’m borderline buzzed/drunk. It’s been pretty relaxing. I had an incredible interview with a radiology program—the most difficult on...

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There’s a new song that’s hitting me hard today called Happiest Year. Every word of it feels so real, and I can’t stop listening to it. This song makes me sad, regretful, but also so, so grateful...

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I’ve gotten back into listening to podcasts after a 2 month hiatus. While my husband and I were on a break, I listened to them everyday. I was so focused on improving myself and trying to save th...

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