What a crazy couple of days.
Just wow.
I’m so speechless in so many ways. I’m not religious at all, and I’m barely spiritual. However, I very strongly believe in a few things that is very contradictory to that statement:
1. Everything happens for the reason.
2. The universe brings people in and out of your life for a very specific reason and at a very specific time.
3. Some spirit in this universe is looking out for me.
Throughout life, I’m constantly shown examples of these beliefs. And I have never believed that more than I do in this moment.
It started yesterday. I got a call in the morning that I got into a Radiology Program—and not just any, I got into the most competitive program in the area. I was 1 of 6 students chosen out of 100. It’s incredible. I remember going to the information session in January of 2019 and I thought:
“Wow, I’m going to get into this program. I’m going to do whatever it takes.”
What I didn’t know at the time is that they usually only accept students with previous medical background, so the odds were definitely not in my favor. But I did it. And it feels amazing. I always knew that I was the type of person who, when told “the odds aren’t in your favor” or “you probably can’t,” I show them I can. I very damn well can. I put so much hard work into this last year and that accelerated the breakup with my soon-to-be ex-husband, but it would’ve happened eventually. I don’t regret one minute of it. All of the hard work was so worth it. I know my mom is proud of me, sometimes she lets her anxiety overcome the side of her that should be happy and that makes me feel like she isn’t proud of me sometimes, but I know she is in some way. She’s just hot-headed and extremely emotionally driven. She likes to invalidate my feelings (and everyone’s around her) because she thinks things could always be worse and she has had it worse. But I am proud and it is perfectly valid for me to feel that way. And it’s also perfectly valid to feel sad knowing that this is my first birthday that I’ll be alone and have no one to celebrate with. She told me “So? I never have anyone to celebrate with. You get used to it.” I hate it when she invalidates my feelings. She is one of the most un-empathetic people I know. She’d like to believe she is empathetic; heck, she thinks she’s everything positive, but truthfully, she always invalidates my feelings. And that is a sign of someone who is un-empathetic and a bit self-absorbed. It makes me sad to say that about my own mother, but it’s the truth. And I’m entitled to my truth and my feelings. She can’t take that away from me.
Anyways, today I had two more really great things happen. One of them, I don’t want to say or make a big deal out of it because I’m a little superstitious. I’ve always had this thing where I believed that if I told someone about a job interview, I would jinx myself. I really don’t want to jinx this… whatever it is. ;)
The last thing that happened was I had a very interesting virtual date with someone this evening. It was actually a little creepy. And I don’t think we’d ever work out because we are too similar—like wayyyyy too similar. But it was a really amazing conversation. It was one of those moments where I think the universe brought us together for a specific reason today. He’s also going through a divorce with his high school sweetheart. He totally understood me on so many levels, like considering our ex family and having a type of love and care for them always, remaining close with our in-laws because they feel like family, going through a self-serve divorce without attorneys or mediators because we both want what’s best for our ex’es. It was incredible to talk to someone who was literally going through the exact same thing. Again, it was creepy and I certainly had a thought for a split second wondering if he was a secret stalker. But no, he wasn’t. It was just a crazy coincidence. And that discussion mutually benefited both of us. It helped him because I was his first date coming out of his relationship and I was able to give him some adult dating tips that I’ve learned with experience. And I gained a feeling of validation that I’m not alone or unreasonable for feeling the way that I feel towards my ex and his family. I really needed both of the things that happened today so much. I’m incredibly grateful that they did happen. But man, what a weird day. Weird, but great.
So as I sit on my balcony, staring at the stars, I just want to say: “Thanks Universe for always looking out and always giving me everything that I need at just the right time.”
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