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Spent.time with the family. Got away from everybody. Work tomorrow and then two days off again. Applied at a couple of places. Trying to get out of there. I contemplated ending it all seriously o...

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Today def went into a weird but completely fantastic direction. I messaged Ashley’s sister cuz I wanted my book Eragon Back. She has had it forever and my books are sooooo important to me. So I m...

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She has plenty of love around her, and plenty to share. I no longer hound her cuz we know neither of us care. I think I am becoming better and happier. I am always worried I forgot something I ne...

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I am very paranoid. It is bad. I am worrying about problems that do not exsist. But life always found a way for me. Things have not completely fallen apart. I just get scared sometimes is all. Ju...

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Whether I like it or not life has brought me pain only when I want it. It brings me joy when I want it. The sickness is when pain becomes easier than joy. I am working toward great things. I do ...

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I feel okay today. I am very good at cutting people off. I find it satisfying as evil as that may sound. That is a part of me it seems so I am not ashamed of it. People spend so much time worryin...

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I unfriended Jenny. It seems I cannot sustain a friendship with an ex. I had once thought it a weakness, a need for change. But lately it seems that I feel different. I feel as though this is not...

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I may be getting sick :( nose very stuffy. oh well. Spent some time with the family. Smoked with Russell again. Gonna come down on Sunday to watch my Titans play because they are getting NFL Sund...

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Jenny is an infection I realize. She does nothing but poison my brain and attitude and Heart. Never Happy. She is not a bad person. Much of this me. But I cannot have her. Now I do not think I wa...

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Worked. Found out i get paid tomorrow because of Columbus day monday. I am veryyyyyy excited about it. Pay some bills. Groceries. Greenery. Smoked with Zeke and Dalton. Second time I met him. Fir...

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Not much happened today. Went to work. Chilled out. Realize that work kind of is a blur nowadays. Kind of do not even remember most of it. Going to finish my daily tasks and shower and go to slee...

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Well I stopped journaling for awhile. But the results have clearly been bad. I need to journal again. Its my ultimate stress reliever. I used to be on Open Diary as well. But OD no longer exists....

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08 OCTOBER 2014, 12:57 AM Nothing happened today. I have definitely been bored with my mind wandering and racing at times over things that truly do not matter. My book I want back and it irks me....

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I don't know what to write about. My brain is fried. My heart has died. Overdramatic blah, blah, blah. I just feel like poop in general. I feel 15 again. My brain is turning off as a shield. My ...

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I don't know what I'm grasping for. Love is for the movies. For the books I read and my inner most fantasies. Me and Ashley talked. On the phone. All night long. Like we used to. I actually enjo...

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Nothing too interesting happened. I'm off three days this week and I'm pretty happy about it. Me and Ashley are talking as friends. We are just friends so soon it will be pointless to even write...

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I love life to be honest. Everything is art. Just depends on your angle. How you look at things. Work was boring as always. I worked out today. I've been writing more and more and more lately. ...

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I never post at this time of day. Hopefully this will get me on a normal person routine. I slept about 2 hours. I have to help my step-parents, sort of, move today. So I should be tired as hell b...

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Currently in a comfy food coma. A warm bubble of happy in my tummy. Amanda, Robin and I went grocery shopping at midnight and when we finished putting away the groceries I went off. Nothing of re...

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I've been a writing fool as of late. Here (and copying it all to Prosebox) and writing on Figment. I feel artsy lately. I've been kinda heartbroken lately so I feel I might as well capture it pro...

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I've been trapped in a bad mental cycle but it's okay. I am starting to turn off a lot of my brain. At least the part that produces emotion. I can fake it really well. I'm starting to not care ag...

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Hung with an old friend. He's a strange one. Bad influence. Charismatic. Bad combo. Bad combo indeed. Did some old bad things but its different. Back then I had a lotttttt of spending money. I ha...

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Today was relaxing. I woke up around 4. Went downstairs relaxed with the family. Then Daniel randomly came over and we hung out. We watched the Sixers get smacked against the Warriors. Just chill...

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I'm thirsty but I don't feel like getting up. Oh well. Today I got up an Amanda gave me a haircut. Finally. Just a buzz. No particular style. Although the buzz cut is a style I suppose. Anthing ...

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Lately I have been trying so hard to distract myself. To not think about Ashley. To not think about a lot of things. To not worry. I've been trying so many different methods and ways to distract ...

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