Entries 84
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gnikniht backwards?
When the Hell did it get to be November?!? You would think as someone struck in prison waiting for his release date to arrive that I’d be happy to wake up and realize that the year is nearly over...
Counting to Purple
I have always known that my mind works differently than most people. I see people and places and my mind instantly spins stories about them, creating narratives in the blink of an eye. My problem...
WEIGHTY THOUGHTS
I’m a big man. Since I was a kid I always topped the height/weight charts. For most of my life I’ve struggled to stay in the range between 250 and 300 pounds. Being six feet tall with a body that...
STEREOTYPES AND LIGHT SPEED
So we’ve had an interesting week in the library. It began on Monday afternoon with a young, black drug dealer who felt he was better than everyone else. Normally our procedure for handing out ope...
ILL HOBBIT
My hobbit has been quarantined. I went over to his cell last weekend to pick up his share of our dinner to find that he and almost all of his stuff was gone. Turns out the back pain he’d been com...
BLUE
The other afternoon, upon returning to my cube from work, I was met by the amused grin of my friend, James. “Have you seen him?” He asked me excitedly. “Seen who?” “The blue man.” “You mean the w...
WEIRD WALDO
I learned the other day that not everyone in my group of comic book aficionados is as…well sane as I thought they were. I know some weren’t all that bright or particularly good readers – one guy ...
I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT
The staff here likes to tell us that they are professionals, that their actions are based on facts and not personal bias. They love to spin everything around to make it appear like we are the one...
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE?
Working in the library, I hear a lot of people talk about their plan for life after prison. Some are reasonable and respectable -- like my plan of opening a decent coffee shop/hangout in my alma ...
MUSINGS ON DIGITAL DEPENDENCE
You know you are seriously deprived when the most vivid dream you've had in weeks is about a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger and a milkshake with fresh whipped cream. I was never one to dream about food b...
THE LIGHTS COME ON AND...
I had to yell at a different idiot for giving a blow job in the bathroom. It's like the prison equivalent of cockroaches -- you turn on the light and they either freeze (because of course that ma...
SHAKESPEARE AND HU$TLERS
Being a prison librarian has a lot of unique challenges for an educated man. For me one of the hardest to get used to is being the compound's distributor of hood and smut books. Now prior to my i...
CHRISTIANS: 0, HEATHENS: 1
There is nothing more frustrating to me then “Christians” who talk about what great people they are and then prove its all bullshit through their actions. I am not a devout anything, but do stron...
NEW NEIGHBOR
Two cubes over from me is a man who shouldn’t be in prison, no matter if he chopped up his grandma and ate her as fondue. His name is Robby and he’s mentally handicapped. If I had to guess I woul...
EMPTY BUNKS, EMPTY TOILETS
EMPTY BUNKS, EMPTY TOILETS For the first time in recent memory, I was able to use the toilet without waiting in line! And not just once, but both of my trips to the porcelain bowl! Sadly, thi...
MP3 MADNESS
I have discovered, over the course of the last month, just how influential music has become to my art. Without music my writing is just crap. I accidentally killed my MP3 player about five weeks ...
THE RETURN
THE RETURN “What is it suppose to be?” I whispered to Jay. “I don’t know. It looks like…” “I know what it looks like,” I said, cutting him off. “But why is it there?” Jay looks at me, then said ...
TOE FINGER GUY
We had to give Toe-Finger a time-out last week. He has been caught hoarding our books. Remember the Anita Blake books he wanted? Well he started coming in at night when I wasn’t working and c...
$ucks
Things are rough right now. Once again I’ve been reminded of the importance of money – and I hate it. In my life I’ve been lucky. My mother has always worked hard to support our family’s needs. W...
SEX, DEATH AND TINKERBELL - Part 2
That night, after our four o’clock count (when the C.O.s make sure no one has wandered off) I headed to the library so I could go to dinner with my co-workers instead of my unit. We’re standing t...
SEX, DEATH AND TINKERBELL - Part 1
We have a new addition to our gallery of misfits on the compound: Auntie Fester. Remember back in the early 90’s, the two Adaam’s Family movies with Raul Julia, Angelica Huston and Christopher Ll...
Sci-tific Conversational
SCI-TIFIC CONVERSATIONAL The other day my best friend went to Medical to meet with his PA about his chronic nerve pain. The poor guy used to play high school and college football down in Alab...
FROOT-LOOPS AND CHEESE
FROOT-LOOPS AND CHEESE Last night it was freak’ in cold out, my friends all laugh at me and say I’m a horrible Chicagoan. They don’t get that what makes Chicagoans seemingly untouched by the cold...
A NARCOLEPTIC HOBBIT
A NARCOLEPTIC HOBBIT My Hobbit is defective. The day before New Year’s Eve the cafeteria switched our meal from a nice bowl of Chili to Chili Mac. To most of you this probably s...
BUBBLES
BUBBLES I have inherited a Hobbit named Bubbles. His last keeper/guardian, Dave is now a resident of the SHU until he goes home later this year thanks to his habit of working with the ta...
