I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT in Adventures From Prison

The staff here likes to tell us that they are professionals, that their actions are based on facts and not personal bias. They love to spin everything around to make it appear like we are the ones they are protecting because we are incapable of doing it ourselves. Yet, all it takes is a pair of eyes and ears to see the truth behind the double talk. This became incredibly clear over the last few weeks… It began with a simple work order, a request for the facilities department to come and inspect the AC system at the Commissary. The officers who work there said that it was too warm and felt like something needed to be adjusted. Facilities came, inspected, and then informed the officers that the issue stemmed from a loading dock door being left constantly open. The Commissary felt that this wasn’t possible and demanded a fix. The inmates and their supervisor told them that there was nothing broken. The next day the idiocy began. One of the perks of certain positions across the Compound is the ability to shop in the evening before everyone else. This privilege is also done because certain positions require inmates to work during the few hours Commissary is open. It’s been that way for ages and has worked. My friend has this privilege. He’s a clerk in the Facilities Department, so he can’t leave during the day. Well, when he arrived at the store he was told that his early shopping privilege had been revoked until the AC was fixed to their satisfaction. Turns out all of the Facilities staff had their privileges yanked, even those with nothing to do with the situation. They complained, which only angered Facilities more, so Commissary canceled ALL early shopping privileges for everyone. Suddenly inmates in the kitchen and safety departments had no chance of shopping. In response the officers of those two departments canceled the early dining/early supply pickup for the Commissary staff. Safety had to adjust their schedule which in turn made it impossible for the inmate responsible for cleaning the Compound officer’s office to get his job done, which pissed off the Captain who then decided all of the Commissary staff needed drug tests in the middle of the night! All of this because a door was left open. I guess my definition of professional conduct was way off the mark. Some of the staff would tell me it’s because I’m a criminal and obviously too stupid to function honestly in the real world. (Yes, this was actually said to me a few years ago). I guess that’s why I never got promoted when I was a yuppie, I didn’t whine and make other peoples lives difficult because of my own mistakes. But I get it now. I’ll be the most professional person you’ve ever seen because of what I’ve witnessed here. Hooray for rehabilitation!