Entries 84
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MORON FIGHT!!!
A few weeks ago, I opened up the library as usual. The crowd was mellow as everyone read papers and magazines while waiting for their work calls. I was sipping on my coffee and eating dry Crunch ...
GENIUS INMATES
Yesterday, I was asked by a library patron for photos of Michelangelo’s Sixteenth Chapel. So while the prison is getting more and more crowded its overall average intelligence has remained the sa...
INAPPROPRIATE SINGING
“Doop, doop, doop, sitting on a toilet taking a poop,” sings the man in the toilet stall. I turn to the guy at the urinal next to me and he shrugs, “New guy.” After a few more rather creative lyr...
JUDGMENT DAY
“It’s time”, my father said then leaves the room. I stare up at the ceiling as I have for the entirety of my life. The paint is cracked and old. Once it was a pale blue, like a summer sky at sunr...
STABBING IN THE DARK
I miss having a library to go to. I know that is odd coming from a librarian, but a part of the fun of a library (at least for me) is the sense of discovery you feel digging through stacks of unf...
FORCED RETIREMENT
I want everyone to know that if my writing this summer becomes sporadic it’s because my friends and family are putting pressure on me to RELAX. Everyone apparently feels that I’m getting too stre...
Never Heard of You
It’s funny how our lives sometimes cross paths with people and whether or not we ever notice depends entirely upon our knowledge and awareness of the world at large. Twice in my life I’ve spok...
LOOK @ ME! LOOK @ ME!
I’m starting to feel unloved. Mom keeps telling me how many views I’m getting each week, but for me that doesn’t mean too much. I’m all about the details. Soooo, if you’re following me please dro...
BOCCE, BOCCE MAN
So out of sheer boredom and a desire for randomness I allowed myself to be coerced into joining the prison Bocce League. I’m telling you my friend Rick is a slick talker: Him: You should join...
CUSTOMER SERVICE RETRAINING
I’ve spent the majority of my working life in some sort of Customer Service position. From manning a cash register at Caribou Coffee, to training Customers one-on-one in the use of our newest sof...
STRIKE A POSE
I have some very weird quirks. For some reason, when lying down or standing in place, I tend to contort my body into odd positions. The one I most commonly hold at work is the one my ex-wife and ...
UNFORTUNATELY, LIFE GOES ON
For me one of the hardest things about prison is watching the staff interact with each other. It is through them that I feel the real pain of prison. I can look all day long at these walls and at...
EXCESS
I’ve never really considered myself to be someone with a lot of willpower. My entire life I’ve struggled with my weight always being told that the reasons my attempts to slim down failed was beca...
Real1ty_15_Over8ed
People these days tend to get far too hung up on the “real world”. They obsess over the news and gossip which pours continuously from their phones, computers and TVs. It has reached a point of co...
INVOCATION
I call upon thee ghosts of Shakespeare and Dickens, phantoms of Lovecraft and Poe, and wraiths of Stoker and Shelley to look upon my words with favor. Guide my pen to create dreams and nightmares...
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to the fifth iteration of my life. At this point in time I am 37 years old, recently divorced and one-third of the way through a fifteen year Federal Incarceration for a computer crime I ...
GOOD NEWS
So I have sort of figured out how to create a blog. So I am going to be shadowing my son’s stories on both Prosebox and WordPress. The usernames are similar: Prosebox - Writer in Chains WordPress...
MEDICAL MISFITERY
2 ½ years ago - I woke up one morning to find a large pimple beneath my left eye. Over the next few days it swelled and popped. The area stayed sore and inflamed for another few days. When it sub...
NEED SOME HELP
Dear Readers, I am Gus Raines mom and would like to take this opportunity to thank all the many readers of my son’s entries. You have no idea how excited he gets when I send him all the comments ...
BE FEARLESS
The more I pay attention to the strange little blips of intuition that have happened to me in here, the more I wonder if there isn’t some credence to the Global Consciousness theory. The last tim...
BOOBLESS
I’ve been stripped of my boobs. For the last year, I’ve been using a couple of photos taken from Vanity Fair and GQ that featured unedited photos from the TV shows True Blood and True Detectives....
CHARLIE BROWN BIRTHDAY
So my 37th birthday has come and gone and for once, that is just fine. Besides me coming to the realization that I am swiftly going bald on top. The events surrounding my day cast it in a rather ...
A HAIRY STORY
The other morning it was a whopping 12 degrees outside. Even in Chicago that’s a damn cold morning, but in prison it is brutal. The BOP give us jackets made of the least wind resistant or insulat...
GAME JACKED!!
GAME-JACKED!! (Disclaimer: I respect the Muslim faith a great deal and poke fun only at the actions of these individuals. No offense is intended.) The cold weather is here and with it comes chang...
Is it them or Me?
I’ve come to a discomforting realization. My interests lay parallel to most of the truly weird men on this compound. I definitely don’t count myself among their numbers but it has left me wonderi...
