Entries 55
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crafting.
I’m taking a poetry writing class in the fall for college. So. This journal is about to revive with a flood of poems for the next seven months, starting with an excursion via Tom Hunley’s “The Po...
east johnson.
the last rites of frat nights echo across brick and bare their spastic souls onto the transit lines, churning. once, you dashed through powder, white, across a playground. you wailed, as i danced...
tiny weights, looming.
this is the first personal entry i think i’ve ever written on here, other than my very first entry some nine years prior. i’m having surgery on wednesday. my first surgery ever. i’ll be gone for ...
charon.
i’ve never floated quite so clean than when the water ends my dream.
shinju.
we were going away down south to the crags where Missy May flung herself down south to the drags we flicked our toes at the edge writing our names in the night swatting fireflies away because to ...
nix.
“keeping the moon at bay, tonight.” you whispered, with your arms splayed ‘round my shoulders. you puffed at my hair that obstructed the light, washing it off my brow for a moment. the marquee’s ...
kerberos.
“tiny little speck of a thing,” she said, cooing into the mist. in the distance, a glimmer.
resurgence.
i told you, baby. we just needed to wait in the wings. nestle up together and hibernate through the fallout. we’re nourished by the dew of time, as the days melt into months. we stumbled, yeah. ...
carved bark.
the creek water splashed onto my toes, as we trampled along tiny kingdoms of algae and tadpoles. we made it to the tire swing, and I pushed you skyward, and we’d laugh for a while. it always fade...
unkempt sundresses.
I wish I still held some pockmark on your porcelain skin, so that any time I caught a glimpse of you in passing I’d see that stain that I left on your life and know that I’m not something you can...
we can't help you here.
but i keep telling you i’m not well, and you keep telling me oh well, it’s hell being unwell, ain’t it? you kept clutching my hand too tight when we were parked over the lookout point and you kep...
the death of you. 4.
I sat in the corner of my bedroom nook, comfortably smashed into a violet bean bag chair as I flicked a screen over and over again, pouring over as much data as I could about the “ZeRoSeRuM” trea...
the death of you. 3.
The rocking chair on Meemaw’s porch has these wonderful little grooves warn into the arms of the decade’s old maple. I sat in the chair, absent-mindedly pushing off from the floor of the porch to...
and we'll sell the spite to the sailors at morning.
can you catch a feverish rage in the palm of your hand and poke it around like a pillbug, making it docile with nary an effort? i keep getting told these tall tales, that emotions are these simpl...
the death of you. 1-2.
Every time I went to Rei’s Lake, I told myself it would be the last time I’d bother. And yet, whether it took a day, a year, or something in between, I’d find myself shuffling my sneakers along t...
we could watch the sun melt.
charred hunks of lunkheads dotting the beach, we tiptoe through the sands, hand in hand, giggling to ourselves as we look for a nook to cook in. i nestle into our towel, frilly, weathered, waitin...
iris thunderstorms.
we’ve been locked in battle for some time now, i keep catching that glint in the shadows, you’re peering right at me, inspecting my imperfections with ripe aplomb, knowing that i’m too weak to tr...
i haven't the time.
a blotch of blood and bleh on the clay, decay this half a life I’ve lived down to a speck, let it linger and flit around the summer breeze, floating from face to place until it leaves no trace. b...
of rain and fickle things.
you remember when we’d go off to Carey’s? grab a few dogs, some fries, a few shakes, eschew the napkins and condiments, and take our sack of malnourishment and walk up the hill by the square? we’...
post martyr.
you’ve put in your time. salted away your skin and soul for paper and purpose. you didn’t waste away in vain, you tell yourself in the bathroom mirror. you created. you existed. you survived and ...
another date night.
you’d think this song and dance would grow weary, by now. we’ve been to all these haunts a thousand times. there’s a faint groove in the steps up to the landing. where we keep grinding our sneake...
the trinity test.
this briny, viscous porridge of people flooding the airwaves and brainwaves with visions of destruction, death, violence. always finding a way to infect us, slurry their ideals down our yearning ...
dissociation nation.
so we’re here again, you. sitting in the chair, everything spiraling around you. everything’s terrifying, isn’t it? all those anxious little thoughts just plinkplinkplinking all over your skin, l...
a second short of time.
“the Delaware stare,” the preacher declared, tracing his tendrils across some solemn psalms, and the man tremored. those little vines, they snapped across that cheek, over to two disconnected eye...
snuff.
the tiny, flecked little things staring at me, expecting me to thrive in this muck.
Book Description
Another open diary member flees the nest. I still haven’t fully accepted letting my old home go, but the truth is, I just can’t fathom losing everything I’ve ever penned if the site just goes belly up. So, here I am. It’s actually easier to pen entries on a phone with this site, so that may motivate me to write a lot more than I’ve been doing in the last year.
And really, this is absolutely fitting timing to start something new, because I’ve just had one of the most ridiculous weekends of my life. Ridiculous is one of those blanket terms that gets thrown around way too much when trying to define things, but seriously; the combination of things I saw, things I did, and things I felt this weekend are so intense, I literally spent the next two days sequestered in my room. Not because I was sad or anything, mind you, I just was so emotionally overwhelmed that I needed a break. Thankfully, work was cancelled yesterday, so I was given that extra day I really needed to push myself over the hump and get back to normal.
I’m not entirely sure how much time I’ve got to spare before I have to leave for home, to get some new tires put on, but I’ll throw the gist of what happened out here really quick. I went back to my hometown again for the first time since I lived there for a month, when I was living with Julie. I went back home again, but this time actually stopped and caught up with old neighbors, and my old best friend from elementary school.
He fought in an MMA match at the local civic center, and he killed it. Destroyed some guy about to go pro into UFC in two minutes in the first round. Watching him just completely own that arena, everyone there cheering like crazy, lit up, man, it just made me realize how stupidly amazing he’s grown up to be. I’m not like, pining for him or any stuff like that, bit, holy cow, dude. Josh is the man in Hammond.
I also finally made way around downtown Chicago legit for the first time since childhood. I went to Navy Pier, spent about $70 in parking and tolls, ate overpriced food at Harry Caray’s, rode the giant Ferris Wheel, and just spent a few minutes walking around and taking everything in. God, Chicago is so beautiful, to me. I’m going to write an entry explaining my love for that place soon. You’ll understand then.
But there was something more about the trip that I’m also going to make a separate entry and keep to myself for now. Suffice to say, it made the trip complete. I promise.
For now, this is plenty to see. I’ll miss you, OD, but it’s time for me to move on. C’est la vie, mon ami.
