Entries 55
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floundering in the gallows.
we’re just here in the depths, floatin’ away the days, waitin’ for the rays to come in and end the pains. we’re dancing our Lilliput steps, those lights’ll shine anew, those bones’ll peak on thro...
almost too small.
the ominous din of red-eye flights chorusing with the babel of tired trees keeping my eyes alight long enough to remind myself that i’m barely there.
lessons in rage and discounting it.
just sit over there hold your beer tight, but not too tight sip, don’t slurp don’t burp avoid eye contact. head cocked down to the side words a pleasant mealy mumble of niceties and nothing don’t...
quaternary.
we were four for four, once. four of four, perhaps. maybe more, maybe less. only two know, for sure. i sought knowledge from the groundswell, the soil gnashed at my sneakers, staining the walls o...
the alprazolam dirge.
stir. blink. stare. stare. stare. stand. dose. be appropriate. functional. walk in line. interact. react. stop. blink. stare. stare. stare. turn. dose. dose again. perform. functions. take your t...
gold coast.
we fell by the wayside, in paradise. dangling dazzling, sparkling things. letting our sighs intertwine, pocked and dotted in the sunrise. and we can melt for a while, you know. we can be flesh an...
i don't believe you.
I look up and see specks of dust On this speckled ceiling And every time one shifts I remind myself That you’re just dust And not Hope.
Ratios/Annul.
For every hello, there seems to be forty unspoken Goodbyes. I’m fucking sick of goodbye.
float the cradle.
With that, I sent you out to sea. Drifting, longing, wanting. You eventually reached back, But ice has no grip, y’know.
pool of ash.
I keep dipping my hand in Expecting to find home And it’s always detritus Instead of a gnawing bone
the faces you have come to hear the most.
I want to write you, Speak your tongue with vim, vigor and whimsy. Whiskey stained lips, an inherent closeness, a sting, a touch. Are you everything? The consumer, the absolute? I certainly hope ...
taut, rippling.
throwing pebbles at rocks sons into fathers sun raining droplets of dewy waxy mist all over the shag of my hair there’s no goal behind my vigor beyond simply felling dead time one plinky little ...
the insistor.
the trickle down of this word syrup, coating my crevices, pouring into pores, always yearning for some sort of quench but the liquid keeps spilling forth and no cessation is imminent. where’s the...
forest of foes.
White square. black square. White square. black square. White square. black square. Left foot, right foot. Left white, black right. Hood down, knockoff beats on, sunglasses on. Head down, back st...
hospice 44.
We used to go there and play in the white room. We had no idea why it was the only room in the whole building that was painted that blinding, holy looking white, when literally nothing else in th...
i have an inter mission.
i’m gazing into the blinds from the prison of my couch enveloped in shoegaze and sudafed floating on the ether seeking ether imbibing ether there’s apparently sunlight and sunset and so many more...
if you can't tell, it's hell.
casting a light down interstate six i think i’m just reverse averse you can’t see specters in the rear view stalking the fields looking for salvation dead eyes give no glints, no glimmer define t...
i have a phone, 3.
I walked home from school that day in a haze. Classes were uneventful, but the extent of the torment I had been enduring from everyone in school had finally just worn me down. I needed something ...
i have a phone, 2.
I was dreaming about the New York Yankees, that night. I was pitching to Reggie Jackson, a big wad of chew in my mouth (because mom said I wasn’t ever using that “dirt shit”) and a roaring crowd ...
i have a phone.
I shouldn’t have bothered to pick my books back up from the ground. Nick gave me enough time to pick my Biology book up off the tile before giving me a quick nudge with his hip, enough to throw m...
yellow cake.
there was a crispness to my strides. i kept my pace in my head with syncopated numbers being grunted out. one. two. three. there was this pleasant simpleness to my run, looking back. compared to...
cry, havoc.
keep telling yourself you can see in the dark. no nerve to walk among the shadows? prefer your paths paved, enlightened and free?
form fitting functions.
the word which i have spoken shall be done so sayeth the rundown road sign that reminds me of my err that ye hath done in not knowing thine scripture i assume many others that have followed my pa...
spite of the seraph.
you’re peaking too soon, you know. icarus and his folly your guide to the sullen sun the melt, the wail, fall, boy, fall you were never meant to be, you know? the crinkle of the ashen skin crisp ...
something resplendent.
i walked a little today not for health or wealth or any real goal i just wanted to be a little lost i started on the side of the highway letting other poems drive by my wayfarer soul i looked at...
Book Description
Another open diary member flees the nest. I still haven’t fully accepted letting my old home go, but the truth is, I just can’t fathom losing everything I’ve ever penned if the site just goes belly up. So, here I am. It’s actually easier to pen entries on a phone with this site, so that may motivate me to write a lot more than I’ve been doing in the last year.
And really, this is absolutely fitting timing to start something new, because I’ve just had one of the most ridiculous weekends of my life. Ridiculous is one of those blanket terms that gets thrown around way too much when trying to define things, but seriously; the combination of things I saw, things I did, and things I felt this weekend are so intense, I literally spent the next two days sequestered in my room. Not because I was sad or anything, mind you, I just was so emotionally overwhelmed that I needed a break. Thankfully, work was cancelled yesterday, so I was given that extra day I really needed to push myself over the hump and get back to normal.
I’m not entirely sure how much time I’ve got to spare before I have to leave for home, to get some new tires put on, but I’ll throw the gist of what happened out here really quick. I went back to my hometown again for the first time since I lived there for a month, when I was living with Julie. I went back home again, but this time actually stopped and caught up with old neighbors, and my old best friend from elementary school.
He fought in an MMA match at the local civic center, and he killed it. Destroyed some guy about to go pro into UFC in two minutes in the first round. Watching him just completely own that arena, everyone there cheering like crazy, lit up, man, it just made me realize how stupidly amazing he’s grown up to be. I’m not like, pining for him or any stuff like that, bit, holy cow, dude. Josh is the man in Hammond.
I also finally made way around downtown Chicago legit for the first time since childhood. I went to Navy Pier, spent about $70 in parking and tolls, ate overpriced food at Harry Caray’s, rode the giant Ferris Wheel, and just spent a few minutes walking around and taking everything in. God, Chicago is so beautiful, to me. I’m going to write an entry explaining my love for that place soon. You’ll understand then.
But there was something more about the trip that I’m also going to make a separate entry and keep to myself for now. Suffice to say, it made the trip complete. I promise.
For now, this is plenty to see. I’ll miss you, OD, but it’s time for me to move on. C’est la vie, mon ami.
