Entries 1,757
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Feels Like Standing Still For Eons And Eons...
Like trying to run through a vat of banana pudding, sounds nice and tempting at first with a hint of sweets...then you realize that you're just a dumbass standing in $500 worth of high fructose v...
The Last Few Days Have Been Hell...
Friday she and I talked...I get where she's coming from, emotionally involved too quick while I was maintaining a bit of a slow pace into things. Just hurts really bad. Saturday I spent the m...
And It's Over...
She broke it off with me...
I Keep Staring At A Blank Screen...
With a full brain...but I can not find the words to put down. My feet hurt at the moment. The job is going well and I'm finally on a machine instead of a saw and getting some training. I w...
It Could Have All Crashed Today
About a week ago I had a really bad dream involving good old dead relatives and me not being sober. It hit me so much that at class the following day I asked one of my buddies to bring his weed ...
4/20 Easter
Been stoned most of the day eating chocolate. Just finished Brave New World by Aldous Huxley and currently rocking out to "Material Girl" by Madonna...it get s stuck in my head, don't judge. We...
Success!!!
Six months sober today. Oh yes, I feel sexy right now.
Fuck You! No...Wait...I Mean I Love You! Come Back!
I'm feeling pretty much 100% since getting sick. However I haven't had a cigarette since Tuesday last week. I. Want. To. Murder. People. And that's just it! I've not talked to anyone, I j...
Never Seems To Fail...
Seems like every time I get a new job within the first month I manage to get sick. I just took my doctor's note in for today. I would have called in but I'm positive they wouldn't have been abl...
Put The Dunce Cap On, Young Man!
Today I did some sawing at work for the first few hours until I was finally put on two CNC Lathes. Basically running production as in putting a part into the chuck, press a button, let the proce...
Taco Truck Breakfast
Holy fuck it's cold this morning! Yesterday I was in cargo shorts and t-shirt. Stepped out this morning to walk Melissa to her car in the same attire and gah! Cold! She came by last night a...
Letting The Days Go By
If it wasn't for my girlfriend Melissa telling my coworker Hayley what the boss said about my "party" being the United Way cookout, I wouldn't have gotten anything for my last day. Hayley, Brand...
8:28 AM Sitting In Class
The wall adapter to my laptop has gone caput and the laptop itself will only hold about ten to fifteen minutes of a charge so yeah, here I am. I've got a lot to talk about. So I ended up going ...
Get Used To The Weekends
I'm going to have to get used to having weekends off again. Been about eight years since I worked a job where I worked during the week and had them to myself. I was off today and this upcoming ...
No More Flippin' Burgers, Puttin' On My Silly Hat
I put my two weeks notice in tomorrow at Publix. I went back for a second interview last Wednesday for that co op job I checked out back in September. Today when I got back to school after lu...
I Feel So Terrible
I broke it off with Krystal tonight. There were many factors but it boils down to that I was no longer happy and really didn't see a future for us. I know that I've crushed her and can't shake ...
Harold Ramis
I was at work when my buddy Mike texted me that Harold Ramis passed away. Normally I don't get upset over a celebrity passing but this one is different. I stopped what I was doing as my jaw dro...
Some Thoughts...
I go to Cracked.com and Reddit.com and read stories from other alcoholics to remain inspired. Was talking to mom the other night that if I hadn't gotten my head wedged so far up my ass with my o...
Thirty-One
Happy Birthday to me Happy Birthday to me Happy Birthday, Dear Jesse Happy Birthday to me!
Bittersweet
What follows is a series of text messages I was sending to a friend. I've got some things in my head flowing around that I'm having a hard time articulating...here's a few. I'm actually depress...
My Body Hates Me
I managed to throw my back out close to two weeks ago. I went to the doctor and got some medicine for it and it was starting to get better...but then I closed both nights last weekend. Monday i...
Are We Not Men? We Are Devo!
Currently listening to the acoustic version of the Devo classic, "Jocko Homo." This song is very somber in acoustic form. Very pretty. In response to my last entry, Krystal was getting under...
uninspired
Stuff is happening... I'm trying not to focus... So much I want to say and so much I want to do... Feel restricted...
Best Gift Ever!
Christmas was fun. Did the breakfast thing with the family, took a bunch of silly Christmas-y photos with Krystal Christmas Eve when we got off work. She got me a Dead Kennedys "DK" shirt as wel...
The Wind Blows Cold On My Spine
I've been sick since last Monday. A pretty bad cold. Starting to feel better, I suppose. I'd like to check my grades for this semester online but my teachers suck and don't know how to post t...
Book Description
I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.
Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.
It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.
I.
Am.
Robot.
Tell.
Me.
What.
Is.
Next.
I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.
So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.
I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
DON’T MAKE ME DO THEIR FUCKING SHIT THE LAST HOUR I’M THERE!
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.
But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
OK.
I’m a democrat.
Lifelong.
BUT FUCK YOU OBAMA!
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.
People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.
This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.
I welcome ProseBox into my life.
