Entries 89

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So, I’m alive. Just. I’ve been mega busy. Doing not a great deal. Tonight I cut. With a blade. It felt good. It made me feel more free. It helped me to release what’s going on in my head. Don’t j...

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So, yes, as I live and breathe. Last night Elle turned up on the doorstep. Sigh. You know what happened. I’m a fucking idiot.

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So, I’m really low today. I don’t know why. All I know is I want to cry. There are no more tears though. I’ve got the most desperate urge to cut. To run that cool blade over my wrist. To feel tha...

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So the minute I wake up and my phone screams the message tone at me, with an already heavy heart I unwillingy picked it up, no need to look at the name, even you know what it read 1 message recei...

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So today, me and Kimmi went to Chester, it’s the furthest I ever drove, She has a VW Camper van and the suspension springs snapped, so we had to drive to her friends garage to get a new one. It’s...

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So, Moday at last!! I went out last night, me & Elle went for tea, then to M’s (for the first time in ages) for a drink, then she asked me to invite Lucie and her ex down (and their mate, mor...

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So, Elle and I went for dinner. I think it was a mistake. Well of sorts. We got to talking about our mistakes and then she was saying how much it would hurt her to see me with someone else, I wo...

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I slept with Elle on Saturday night. What the fuck is wrong with me? It shoudn’t have happened, but it did and it just felt right. It was like when we firat gor together all over again. It felt l...

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So, I’ve been thinking, thinking about everything, and in all honesty, I’m upset, I’m disappointed and I’m bloody angry. Why? Because as I think back and I hear you tell me you love me and all th...

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So, it’s all done, everything has been moved (more or less), Elle is not a happy bunny and I have finally moved in to The Yellow House with my girls. I feel upset and sad, and sometimes a little ...

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So, HOPEFULLY I should know about The Yellow House by Monday. We both woke up early, I don’t know what time she was up but I got up at 7:10.am and went down stairs. We got to talking about what w...

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So, this morning I ended it. I went up to the estate agent and I put the application in. I’m just hoping that I pass the credit check. I just have this gut feeling that I won’t but I’m ignoring m...

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So, The Yellow House, I went to see it today, and it’s just as lovely as the pictures let me believe. There’s a cupboard between the kitchen and bathroom, just opposite the back door, where the w...

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So, I’m the horrible person in all this. The row has carried over from last night to this morning because she wanted to take my bankcard so we could do the weekly transfer, I said to her but I wa...

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So, I just told her that she’s part of the reason I’m so stressed, her reaction? She was great, she promised to change and wanted to know what it was she does so that she can help me get better…....

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I, Princess Pitbull, do solemnly swear, NEVER to buy a fitness workout DVD EVER again. I did half of 5 Step Fat Attack, and now I feel like I’m about to die. I’m hot, sweaty, knackered, and I don...

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I’m going after 4 though. Then she’ll get in before me. I am completley cream crackered folks. I’m going to ring her from the bus and be all like Baaaaaaaby can you meet me in town for pick me up...

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So she started the row and I stayed as calm as I could whilst she wound herself right up shouting and getting aggressive, she’s pathetic and I told her so. Not nastily, I also told her that it wa...

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So today I felt supershit. I got up and my throat hurt, I have ear-ache, headache, my eyes are sore and superdry, my sugars keep dipping no matter what I do, I felt dizzy etc. I told Elle when sh...

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I feel sick. I know why. Because I’ve been thinking about what I’ve eaten today. I feel like putting my fingers are down my throat. I also feel like if I was to be sick, that I honestly wouldn’t ...

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So, I had to work yesterday, yes on Valentines Day, I wasn’t that disappointed, relieved even. The roses I arranged to be delivered for Elle turned up whilst I was at work and are beautiful, alth...

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So I was unaware that brat had one E in it, let alone two. Earlier, I told Elle that I was sleepy yet again at a ridiculously early hour, her response? “Take me out and you’ll wake up.” Excuse me...

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So, today is the day she goes to see the counsellor, so hopefully we’ll get a bit further forward, just maybe,?however, I’m pretty prepared for her coming back a mess or her not going back even ...

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So… Sunday night we had sex. Great sex. Mind blowing, split you open sex because it feels so right sex but orgasmless sex all the same.I think I’ve figured why. I think the original attraction ha...

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So guess who’s kicking off about the pinhole in my nose? Surprise Surprise. All because she doesn’t like it, FUCK HER. She says it makes her feel sick, oh good, I am glad, that’s what I was going...

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