Entries 1,596

Page 11 of 64

Today was long and full of terrors. I was counting down the minutes from the moment I woke up. There were no terrors today, I just wanted today to fly by. I do not have a shift tomorrow so I just...

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It’s like I have acid reflux in my brain. It’s racing so hard it physically aches. It is becoming unbearable. My jaw also hurts because grinding my teeth is my stim. I want to go back to last wee...

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Hello darkness, my old friend. I’ve come to talk to you again. It was good while it lasted. My mood disorders went on hiatus but they clocked in this morning. Their absence made it clear that it ...

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My NP doctor is treating me for a protein deficiency which plays a role in absorption, duh, but the more I look into it, the more it looks like it is something far simpler. Zinc. There are the ph...

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Wake up in the morning feeling like P diddy I’m groggy, I just want to get to my coffee. That’s the vibe in the morning. The coffee is programmed to be ready for me when I wake up. On my way to i...

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I’m house-sitting for a friend until Sunday. Rodent-sitting, really. I have her car for the weekend which I’m looking forward to. It happened again. I know what this pattern is. Male-pattern bit...

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I think I figured out why my mood disorders have not been an issue, not that I want to jinx it. There are a lot of factors but I think it’s mostly the sun. We are solar-powered. It was obvious to...

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Walking to the gym gives me time to think about how much my life sucks. Then I have to remind myself that I have Life Dysmorphia. I can’t see how good my life is. For starters, I am walking. I ca...

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Every Saturday starts the same way. I get triggered by my roommate. Her cheek, her nerve, her gall, her audacity, and her gumption. I do not want to let it ruin my day. I’ll let the rain take car...

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The calm before the storm. That’s the vibe. Ironically, we are in the middle of a severe storm as I type. I think all the areas of my psyche have agreed to a truce. I have inner world peace. I do...

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I did not go to bed pleased about my weekend last night. I feel like I wasted it. This is nothing new but I feel fed up, officially. ADHD, it’s like being told that there is something wrong with...

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Did you know? My snobby stupid roommate was offered 5K worth of CBD oil for free three times and said no. Lenstar, my ride-or-die, her baby daddy, Zerr, is a veteran who just canceled his lifetim...

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I was trembling during my therapy session today. Not from discussing my childhood trauma but from discussing what I’m truly passionate about. I talked about what I wanted to discuss in my podcast...

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Everybody kept telling me to talk to my supervisor about doing light duties. I was too stubborn. It is obvious that I am in pain. What happened? Just leg day. I went too hard at the gym on Sunday...

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I forgot about the tension between my supervisor and I. Last week she was on holiday. It was a holiday that turned into a bereavement leave for her, unfortunately. Without us being micromanaged,...

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It’s a beautiful day. It was a gorgeous weekend. It was a gorgeous week. They were the longest days of the year with the sun closest to its center of force. Happy Summer Solstice! I spent most o...

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I have 99 problems and studying ain’t one. I feel weightless now that the semester is over. I feel aimless, I don’t know what my next move should be. School may not be exacerbating my mental heal...

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We know I do not subscribe to baseless superstitious medical beliefs that make us act against our best interests. Disease is not caught, it is not possession, it is created. The recipe is toxic w...

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I’m an intellectualizer. This is what makes therapy difficult for me. I already know what I should do. I know what they are going to say. More or less. I intellectualize my emotions. I process th...

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On my way to work this morning, I felt like the cosmos was punishing me for recent epic failures. It’s just like me to play the victim. I was born for this role. If something can go wrong, it is ...

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I said that I would end up working my nerve today and then I ended up working my nerve today. Manifestation? Or a self-fulfilling prophecy? If something could go wrong it went wrong. My apartmen...

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It’s laundry day so I’m wearing my cranky pants. Yesterday I felt like I was on cloud nine because I no longer have to carry the weight of my studies. Today, I’m feeling emotionally dysregulated...

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I don’t know what Cloud Nine feels like but I think I woke up on it today. The weight of school has been lifted. It was dead weight in the end. I was not numbed out today. I could feel everythin...

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I don’t think that I know how to relax. I don’t have class, I don’t feel like I should be studying. I don’t feel like there is something that I am supposed to do, which is what motivates me to st...

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12 Signs The Only Problem With Your Life Is That You Think About It More Than You Live It Anxiety is usually bred out of inaction. We were born to actualize our potential, not just analyze it. Bi...

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