Entries 1,575
Page 11 of 63
Old Habits Do Not Open New Doors
It’s laundry day so I’m wearing my cranky pants. Yesterday I felt like I was on cloud nine because I no longer have to carry the weight of my studies. Today, I’m feeling emotionally dysregulated...
Dread Weight Lifted
I don’t know what Cloud Nine feels like but I think I woke up on it today. The weight of school has been lifted. It was dead weight in the end. I was not numbed out today. I could feel everythin...
Blank Space
I don’t think that I know how to relax. I don’t have class, I don’t feel like I should be studying. I don’t feel like there is something that I am supposed to do, which is what motivates me to st...
Binge Thinking
12 Signs The Only Problem With Your Life Is That You Think About It More Than You Live It Anxiety is usually bred out of inaction. We were born to actualize our potential, not just analyze it. Bi...
Inner Child Neglect
I’m aware that I am going through a grieving process. At the end of grief is acceptance. At the end of healing is forgiveness. There are no other endings. I’m not going to get displacement, I am ...
Autobiography of a Big Baby
It’s like discovering that there is something wrong with my legs. I can learn to walk again but I will never run. I will never swim and I will never climb. That is what this… dopamine deficiency ...
There's Nowhere to Run and Nowhere Left to Hide
Do you know what my problem is? A diagnosis informs treatment but the labels stay with you for life. They also have a profound impact on a person’s identity. In a world where everybody seems to b...
Little Homo On The Prairie
I am wondering if my cheat meal on Friday was worth it. My ND did say that the body does not know the difference between a little and a lot when it comes to being damaged by toxic food. I am bloa...
Too Two
I finally linked up with Alex & Bruce. I got a better picture of what this position looks like that I’m applying for. It’s not shift work. We don’t know what the starting wage is for this pro...
Ozempic Face
Cassie, at work, did not recognize me right me right away. She had to do a double take. She told me that she could see that I was losing weight and was concerned. I lost 10lbs. I told her to spre...
Happenings'
Whenever I feel like I am about to spiral I race to play Skyrim. This is the only anesthetic that kills everything I feel inside. I get to leave this world behind. I could have worse vices. I wa...
Surface Pressure
I almost cried today. I’m supposed to honor my feelings, as per my therapist, but I don’t know what that looks like. I doubt it looks like a grown-ass man crying at work. There is a shift happeni...
Opportunities
HR called me into the office today. What I had said to the ASM last week triggered an investigation. They wanted me to give a statement about what I had reported last week to Emily. I couldn’t re...
Monday Poisoning
I did not sleep well. I went to bed early so that I could start my hectic week off right. So naturally I woke up a brazilian times to void my damn bladder. Am I 50!? I’m going to be too tired to ...
Irregulate
My CBT session on Friday was not as intense as the first one because I didn’t want to discuss the topic we discussed in the first one. Our focus was on my avoidance and procrastination. Our big e...
I Will See With Joy
I wanted to hit up the gym this evening but it is going to be too busy. It was unmanageable yesterday. It was overrun with teens and tweens. This is why I prefer to go in the morning. I ended up ...
Static
I’m trying to tune into myself but I can’t connect, for better or for worse. It’s like I’m tongue-tied. Thought-tied? Emotion-tied? I’m not numbed out, I’m not sure what this is. Could it be that...
Work Saga
The saga continued with my supervisor. At our morning meeting, she brought up some of the metrics, and long story short, I told her that I see a pattern that looks like theft. Point blank, she to...
Mood Constant
I feel like my therapist is going to ask me how I’m feeling on a scale of 1-10 when I see him on Friday. I hate that question. Kmood = [A][D] / [Fnet] The mood constant equals the...
On A Right Track
I had an appointment with my ND (Naturopathic Doctor) today. Things seem to be going in the right direction. We discussed my anxiety and depression at length this time around. My anxiety was sky-...
Brain Freeze
I should be doing a few practice questions right now, in my chem class, but the material is lost on me. The unit is on Acids and Bases. It’s my own fault that I am lost. We have a test on the uni...
Neverending Story
Know your story. That is one of the big lessons I learned early in my self-improvement journey. I have never really done that and I’m not about to start now. At least, not go deep. Currently, my...
Stuff And Things
I cannonballed into my therapy session yesterday. I didn’t waste any time booking an appointment after my consultation. The session was intense. I didn’t expect it to be and we haven’t even gone ...
ACT
My consultation with the Cognitive Behavioural Therapist went well. He wants to blend it with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This one is about changing our relationships with our though...
Spin Cycle
I had a moment today where I was second-guessing if I need support from a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. That was short-lived. The consultation is tomorrow morning over the phone. I hope it is ...
Book Description
Things happening in my life currently