Public

Journal

by Miss Chiffs Manager

Entries 495

Page 15 of 20

January 31, 2021

Lately I've been

deleting every facebook post I’ve ever made. I tried doing a purge, but FB is completely retarded and won’t allow me to do that. So. I’m deleting every. single. post. individually. for the past 1...


Yesterday, after Creep-O 5k sent me that message, I had responded & blocked, I had a pretty weird day. In the mail, was a plain white envelope addressed to me in blue ink, return address a c...


I’m pretty sure that I wrote about my therapy partner before. He was some dude on the server. I wanted a female partner, and posed a request reflecting as much. He insisted on being my partner. A...


January 28, 2021

Aunt, again

she sent me a few quotes to reflect on recently, and then a longer email about her views on my problems. lol I responded honestly, of course. In my response, I had a quip, which I should have kn...


January 27, 2021

Hey,

A Survey General What kind of house do you live in (condo, single family, apartment, craftsman, ranch, etc.)? Pretty sure it’s called a cottage. It’s cute. What kind of siding does it have? Ceda...


January 26, 2021

Self Knowledge is Hard

I surround myself with ineffective, harmless people. I realized that about my long time best friend of 15+ years, the other weak. And I’m realizing this about my husband, too. BUT. I am changing...


January 23, 2021

Dismayed

Judo has been out for a long while. Since Covid hit. My local club was so much fun. I mean… to me it was one of the only things that really consistently gave me joy. And company. Yesterday, I fe...


January 21, 2021

Tired and Bitter

I don’t want to be that way. I think that I am finding how to get out of that trap. That tired and bitter mindset which looks at the world with loathing and a “poor me” attitude. It’s an attitudi...


January 20, 2021

I'm Old...

I find myself thinking back to who I was 10 or even 5 years ago, and wishing if only I knew then what I know now… where would I be? I wonder. Certainly, not here. All that to say- I bitterly wis...


January 16, 2021

Blown Away

I’ve exchanged email with my Aunt over the last several days. I find myself more and more shocked and appalled. I don’t know why, but I thought that she was different. Just another thing that I ...


January 12, 2021

My Aunt called

me yesterday. I want to say “out of the blue”, but we had emailed about having a phone conversation last week. It just didn’t work out. So he called me yesterday evening/afternoon. I felt surpri...


January 11, 2021

My Anger is

gone. It’s gone! I didn’t will it away, or wish it away, or anything like that. I just stood up for myself. I defined my boundaries, and I defended them. Angrily, sure. I defended them with ang...


January 11, 2021

I have a lot

to say. I have been toying with the idea to start a youtube channel. Well. Mostly to publish on it. I already have one. I publish here about a third of what I write, and that’s only lately. I fe...


January 10, 2021

On FB Again

And I commented on a “If you did this then you’re a big fat blank” post. And, it went well. It really did. I can’t help but contrast what happened (internally, for me personally) this time vers...


January 09, 2021

Money Money Money

My dad always told me Follow the Money, and that is one of the few things he said that was actually useful. Copied from a friend; Cycle of Civilization - Where We Are Working dudes pay inter...


January 09, 2021

Reactionary

I am a-political. I really don’t care who your guy is or isn’t. The country has gone to shit. But, it’s been circling the drain for awhile now. More, I am saddened by the lack of brotherly love ...


January 08, 2021

My dad

just sent me a text that said “I miss my daughter” First time I’ve heard from him since July.


January 06, 2021

Still Lost

Still don’t know what to do. I want so badly for someone to tell me what to do. And it’s not lost on me that, at my most vulnerable, those that respond with advice or edicts are just manipulator...


January 05, 2021

Letter From

his parents. The long and short of it was; You Are Wrong for having any concerns. We love you but you can’t Judge people. So we’re going to not talk about it and Judge you until you agree with u...


January 04, 2021

A Bit Lost

Yea, I am lost. I don’t really know what to do. I’ve got this idea that we can be great people. We could be awesome. We should be good. But… I don’t know how. DH is depressed. Idk how I never r...


December 29, 2020

Relationships

I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I complain about my mother a lot. To myself, mostly. Which is… unproductive. All complaining is unproductive. And it stems from a lack of boundaries. A lac...


December 29, 2020

What's Right?

So I am feeling jaded about continuing on with group therapy. I use that term “group therapy” very loosely, since it’s little more than a book club. It was just nice because it was so laid back a...


December 25, 2020

I'm Thinking that

I don’t want much of anything to do with the in-laws. In any case, they don’t want much of anything to do with me. So… why should I be the one to have to placate and assuage? I got really mad at...


December 15, 2020

I feel Good

I feel really good about where I’m going. Not where I’m at. But… where I’m going is pretty great. I had dreams last night about telling the truth. I kept turning on everyone who was trying to blo...


December 14, 2020

Why do I do it?

So I sent J (my mom) an email basically telling her to stop with all the shit. Yeah, I was angry. Why? Well. I told her like 3 times that I’m not willing to put up with her projections anymore. ...


Book Description

Thoughts, and Whatever else.