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Page 35 of 103

Sitting here, listening to my music, one question springs to mind. How do I know that I’m listening to the music and not that it’s listening to me?    

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‘What do you think of me, honestly?’ ‘Honestly?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘The answer to that should be obvious from the fact that I’m here.’    

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He turned away, the smoke still rising from the bullet hole he left in the other guys forehead. As he did, his mobile phone rang. ‘Is it done?’ ‘You doubt me?’ ‘Shazam.’ He was surprised by...

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So, it’s come down to me. Last man standing and everything to play for. I will not let them down. Not if I value my life. Literally.    

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‘Do you remember what I said to you yesterday?’ ‘Not a word, sorry.’ ‘Great. That was important information there.’ ‘I’m not your fucking personal walking dictaphone!’ ‘I thought you were.’...

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And now, the end is here. And so we face the final curtail. Bloody closing time. Why do we need it? I could do with a few more, possibly help me forget. And that is indeed it. A mere 4 hou...

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The wind whipped over his face, messing up his expensive and previously perfect hair, as he stood over the grave. He made no noise but had tears coursing silently down his face as the looked at...

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Y’know, things aren’t always what they seem to be. Look at me. you’d never know that I was actually born a woman, would you? See? That’s what I’m talking about.    

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History is a fascinating subject isn’t it? But it is a bit of a pain trying to remember all those names and dates and, and, and… Course when you actually lived through most of the events in qu...

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When you’re floating in the vacuum of space you have a lot of time to think about the size of the universe and how small you actually are. It might give some a inferiority complex, but not me. ...

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Sorting through my books is always a fun experience, especially when you consider how many of the buggers I actually have. A Handbook for Visitors from Outer Space? Might give that to my siste...

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Life doesn’t get much better than this. Well, unless you’re Hugh Hefner.    

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Well, this is interesting. Maybe not to everyone, but certainly to me. Who’da thunk that? The book I’ve been waiting on? It only contains the secret to…    

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When job hunting, there are a few things that are important. The local paper, pen, paper, computer access, the ability to retain one’s sense of humour…    

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‘So, what exactly does happen then you press the green and black button?’ ‘Well, nothing, except the b utton turns black and green.’    

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The end is in sight. I’m just about across the finishing line. All I have to do is defeat that great big fuck off mechanoid…    

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‘If you could say anything to me, anything at all, what would it be.’ ‘Can’t tell you.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because that would defeat the purpose of the question.’    

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Some people don’t understand religion. I don’t know what’s so complicated, to be honest. It seems to boil down to my deity can beat up your deity. Well, except Buddhists. And possibly pastaf...

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And we’re into the final straight. Which would be fine. No, really, it would be fine. Except this bus is stuck at a right angle…    

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Yesterday, I had the strangest feeling that the house was haunted. At first I thought it was because I forgot to switch off the TV, but it continued after that…    

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You know, you really do have to be careful how you say things. It can lead to awkward or”interesting” conversations. For example, I was trying to tell one former girlfriends parents how much I...

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He walked up to her slowly and put his arms around her, pulling her close for a hug. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,’ he said. ‘What for?’ ‘You mean they haven’t told you?’    

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What to do? That’s the question. Thing is, I’m not really sure. Have to decide soon, though, cos these drugs won’t get less stolen and this body won’t get any less deceased.    

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Dovecot Street, Stockton on Tees 19:05 hours ‘Scuse me mate, got a spare fag?’ ‘Sorry mate, don’t smoke.’ ‘Fucking liar. You’ve got a lit fag in your hand you doyle.’ ‘Sorry. Meant to say...

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Time travel is a bitch. Seriously. Unless you can do it, I don’t think you actually know how many problems it actually presents. Age for example. To look at me, you’d think that I was early ...

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