So this past Friday (3/14) made 1 month that me and Chris have been together. We went to dinner at Olive Garden and then just went joyriding down the dirt roads in the forest for about and hour and a half or so after dinner. It was seriously funny, especially when we would sit at the edge of the huge puddles and debate on which side to drive around.. Probably should have rethought the woods-riding since it had been raining the few days before hand and my truck is only 2 wheel drive... lol. Oh well.
Still have a blast spending time together... Now just taking it one day at a time. This whole thing scares me. I never claimed my life or living situations were perfect or ever great, and he has made comments in regards to not knowing if he can handle certain things about me. my mom has severe mood disorders, possibly bipolar, and I am already suppose to be on anti-depressants. Sometimes I just have a bad day and everything gets to me and I am still dealing with it so sometimes I tend to snap at the wrong people. Not sure how I feel about him saying that, saying that he doesn't know if he can handle it. I don't want to get invested into something that seems so great and amazing to me for the other person not to feel the same or feel as if it is as simple as "I can't handle this, I'm gone" and that's kind of how I feel about it all. I mean, if a guy is in love with you or loves you or whatnot, shouldn't he be saying that we can make it through anything and that he will stay by my side through the hard times? Otherwise, what in the hell are the point of wedding vows that I someday hope to have (whether it is with him or another)?? I mean, when you marry someone you vow to be by their side through it all... and I know that many people get divorced and all and also that a lot of people do not hold much faith in marriage, but it was no secret to him, or anyone else that I have met recently, that marriage and a family are my ultimate goal. I don't want a temporary relationship. And yes, I know that we never know how a relationship will go until we give it a shot, but if one person is already having the thought that they could easily walk away from it all, why bother waiting until that point? Why not just leave now and save me and my kids the heart break down the line?
sigh hate when shit gets crazy!
<~Pixie~>
Loading comments...