Rollercoaster in My Life

Last night was our first scheduled talk after our rough counseling appointment. It went much better than I thought; I figured it would be 15 mins of mostly silence but it was about 45 of productive conversation. He was, mostly, receptive. He again said all he hears it what he does wrong and he can't do any right. I told him in all the months of counseling I've said over and over I'm not perfect and know there must be things I need to change, but he's never made any mention of them. Bottom line, I guess for me, is to do better with his "love language" of words of affirmation (though I explained why this is so difficult for me right now), and to do better about communicating which is our #1 issue. I told him when I do communicate, like Sunday when there was an issue w/the kids, he attacks me and storms off and that sure as hell doesn't make me want to tell him how I feel. So he said he'd work on that, and I told him if he does that, I'm done w/the conversation at that point, in that moment. And he needs to respect that instead of hounding me and berating me to keep talking. He's made me a cup of tea in the morning the last 2 days. He realizes he does nothing big or little for me and is trying. I don't know. I'm tired of the rollercoaster, honestly. I'm afraid to say I feel hopeful because I fear in 4 months we'll be back to square one again, but maybe not. He heard me say, in therapy, the opposite of his "yes I want to be married." I very clearly said I don't know and make it clear I wasn't sure this was going to work. So maybe that's scared him enough at this point. I just don't know. But at least it was a good conversation and wasn't awful and painful and awkward...