Him in my boy best friend

So to night was the first night i have talked to him in over three weeks and he has been the one i’ve loved for a while but i never got over him but i get lost in his eyes, and i miss his voice and being able to talk to him when ever i had a problem or he was always my shoulder to cry and he never gave up on me but now life has turned around and we cant really talk to each other we call sometimes but its not for long and i miss when we would stay all night just talking and when we would sit on the couch and just talk about the future and he was the only one i could see and future with i i miss him everyday and i sometimes think what would have happened if i would have yes sooner. There is never a day or night that i don’t think about you. There are some nights where i cant sleep because your on my mind and i still i look at our pictures and i got some of them hanging up but i don’t know why i ever thought that i deserve you turned out i don’t love
L