Writing in Stone in Trigger Warning

I have this rule for writing, and it helps. You see, I write about some pretty dark stuff. I am writing about it to express it and to share it. See, I believe that experiences like mine come with the responsibility of being shared. There are no benefits to keeping it all to myself, but there are benefits to sharing with others.
I have found that to share these stories and memories of my childhood, usually takes its toll. I end up in a depressed anxiety state for hours. Sometimes if I am not vigilante or strong enough, it can lead to a full depressive state that takes days, sometimes weeks, to haul myself out of. There is also the chore of allowing myself to reattach myself emotionally to the experiences.
As I grew up, I discovered that putting the emotions in a box as I shared my stories, allowed me to get the facts out without being embarrassed or ashamed. The things I write about do not usually spark joy or feelings of contentment. They are stories of being an object of use, tales of trauma and loss, and words like molested, anger management, depression, rape, abuse…
So to write, I employ a buffer. I find my friend Wolf (his tagger handle, and moniker for the blog ) and he rolls up a couple of blunts. One for us to smoke and relax and run our mouths off together. The second for me to take home and light up as I power on my laptop and find a comfy blanket. The blanket will keep me wrapped up and warm, physically. The Mary Jane allows me to to turn the hard brick walls of my minds library, into a billowy purple haze with enough give to almost reach the emotion, but with enough resistance to keep me from actual contact.