HIM.. in The Pit Of Me

When I found him, I was lost, broken, scared to love again, considering my last love tore my life to shreds, which is cutting them some slack, I want you to know about him, the one I’m like 80% sure this time is the one. I do have the worst judgement in history when comes to dating men, I mean hell I have been engaged twice, married once, still working on that whole divorce thing by the way, and tack on two small but stinking adorable kids, life was a rough start at 18, but now, 5 years later I’m trying to make it right.
I had been single for about 6 months when I met him, I talked myself into online dating which, you’ll hear of one day I’m sure of it. Being a decent looking young female on any dating website is horrid, highly don’t recommend! I had messages coming in all day and night my phone literally would not stop going off and of course I’d creep on their dating profile, see what kind of weirdos were out there. Then, that one random afternoon, that one simple “Hey” has changed my life. I’m still deciding weather its for the better or for the worst, guess you will find out when I do.
We hit it off right off the bat. Instantly he was like prince charming coming and sweeping this damsel in distress right off her feet. We met in public, of course, I’m a natural blonde but not an idiot, I watch way to much Law and Order SVU to know not to meet a strange man from the internet in a private place. Online dating rule number one, Always meet in a public place with witnesses.
He was older than what I had been used to, but not like creepy older. He was mature, had his head on straight,children of his own,super sexy, but you probably don’t want to hear that, but I won’t lie to you I have never been attracted to a man like I am attracted to him. He’s great, not perfect, has some work to be done but I was willing to work through it with him. About 3 months in I was absolutely in love, still am to this day.
Its been almost 2 years since we met, and I love him even more today than ever and yes tomorrow I will love him even more than I did today. Love is, the most strange feeling and the most complicated thing a person will ever experience in their lives. These past 2 years I gave up a lot for love, a job, which I did end up getting back, my family, I mean I got them back to but that’s besides the point, the point I am trying to make is you have to sacrifice things you love, that’s what love is, sacrifice. Which is why I’m writing this, because I am about to face yet another huge decision of my life and I am 110% not ready for it.