Celebration of Sorts in These Foolish Things

Yesterday, I got a report telling me that The Line I Created (TLIC…or The LIC, ha!) has surpassed the $1 million sales mark (in its first year on the market)! I am thrilled! Hilarious thing is that there was no fanfare because I just “met expectations”. The line was planned to do one million in the first year so…meh. Anticlimactic for everyone else, I guess. I feel like any other organization might celebrate this - at least a little bit. Or someone might pat me on the back and tell me that I did a good job. But no. I know it’s funny - that’s all I ever really want is for some kind of acknowledgement. I think Words of Affirmation just might be my love language.

But I don’t care. I’m still so excited! It’s a milestone! I will toot my own horn and celebrate in my own ways. Everyone else be damned.

You know I don’t have a staff anymore, right? I don’t even really have a “team” that I work with. I just work for Boss. But what I’m going to do is bring in a mini bottle of champagne for everyone involved in the project (packaging guy, engineer, buyer, etc) to show my appreciation for the support of the program.

Plus, it’s the holidays and I was planning on doing this anyway…ha! But I can tell them that there’s even more reason to celebrate.

Whoop.

[That’s me being semi-excited. We don’t want to go overboard, now do we?]

I’ve thought about this a LOT over the last few days. I am not positive, but I think there might be something kind of…I don’t know what the word is…meek (?) about me? Something that makes people think they have the right to take advantage of me?

I think I’ve gotten much, much better about having boundaries over the years, but clearly, there’s more that I need to work on.

And it’s not about being a bitch, really. It’s not even necessarily about standing up for my own rights. I feel like it might be something as simple as a posture or an inflection in my voice. The way I sit or stand or my facial expressions - something totally subconscious maybe? Is it that I’m somehow visibly but unconsciously insecure? Do I give off a vibe?

And is this the reason that I have trouble getting second dates? Even though people tell me that I’m much prettier and more desirable in person than my photos (in reference to dating sites).

I truly don’t feel like I’m that insecure. I mean, sure, I get nervous on first dates and when giving a presentation or sometimes in meetings with big wigs. But I’ve traveled the world and been in high places and even had major interactions with celebrities and have seemed to carry myself just fine (my travel/business persona coming through, I guess).

And maybe that’s just it…maybe I should carry myself in my personal life more like the way I carry myself in my professional/presentation-giving life (even though Boss doesn’t recognize my professionalism, the licensors do)? Maybe it’s that after the “show” is over I tend to relax and let down my guard? Should I NEVER let my guard down??

I don’t know. I don’t know!

I’m going to test this hypothesis soon and I’ll report back.

For now, and in celebration of small successes,
GS