URGENT. Advice Needed! in These Foolish Things
- Dec. 15, 2019, 1:27 p.m.
- |
- Public
Last night, I’m at a wonderful party hosted by an amazing friend. Several of us are drinking champagne and taking photos and having a glorious time posting to social and just enjoying the evening, when all of a sudden a text comes in for me from Doctor D.
Now remember, I am still in love with this guy. He saved my life and then my feelings grew very, very strong for him. And when I finally told him that I wanted to date him (after a several dates and a few months of being unsure about it), he told me that he didn’t want to be in a relationship.
I haven’t responded yet (it’s next morning), but I desperately want to. What do I say???
Help,
GS
Last updated December 15, 2019
54 Comments
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Florentine ⋅ December 15, 2019
Oh, Doctor D. My heart kind of hurts a little because I know how much you like him and I know I've been in this same spot in the past.
Be careful. Establish your boundaries. He clearly WANTS you, but if that is not enough for you, don't let his sudden attention convince you otherwise.
Deleted user ⋅ December 15, 2019
Wait, what? He said he didn't want to be in a relationship, but then texts you he is in a relationship and then tries for a booty call? I'd be so disgusted and offended. Delete his number. WTF? He is basically saying here that he doesn't think of you as someone he'd want to be in a serious relationship with but you are good enough for a booty call? And then to add insult to injury, even if he was in a relationship, he'd cheat? I'm so grossed out.
Ginger Snap Deleted user ⋅ December 15, 2019
I don't think he wanted me to come over. I don't think it was a booty call. I honestly think he wanted to tell me he was thinking about me. That's all. But of course, it came out weird because he's a dude and was thinking with his penis. And believe me, I'm not defending him, but knowing him, that's probably what that was. But also knowing myself, I want to tell him how strongly I feel for him and how much this text confused me...but I don't know how to get that point across without sounding...what? Desperate? I don't know.
Deleted user Ginger Snap ⋅ December 15, 2019
Do not respond to that. Don't reward it with any kind of response or explanation. He is definitely not worth the time it'd take you to text him.
pandora Deleted user ⋅ December 15, 2019 (edited December 15, 2019)
Edited
100% agree. Do not respond. Do not feed his ego, which is what he's clearly using you for.
pandora Ginger Snap ⋅ December 15, 2019
Also, he wanted to tell you he was thinking about you, but... 'as luck would have it' he's 'managed' to meet someone he 'enjoys dating.' The guy who didn't want a relationship was LUCKY enough to meet someone he enjoys dating. It's just... everything about this text is offensive AF.
Deleted user pandora ⋅ December 21, 2019
Hi, can you read my last entry and tell me what stories/categories you think I should use? Thanks!
Deleted user Ginger Snap ⋅ December 21, 2019
Hi, can you read my last entry and tell me what stories/categories you think I should use? Thanks!
Deleted user Deleted user ⋅ December 15, 2019
This^^^
Complicated Disaster ⋅ December 15, 2019
Heartbreak lies down that route. Don't go there. <3 xx
The Rocky Mountain ⋅ December 15, 2019
Dirtbag. Run away.
Deleted user ⋅ December 15, 2019
forward that to his girlfriend
Deleted user Deleted user ⋅ December 15, 2019
Agreed. In this case, that is really the way to go.
Athena ⋅ December 15, 2019
Everyone here has given you great advice. I hope you take it.
.bob Athena ⋅ December 16, 2019
Yep. Everyone has already said it. This guy is on an even lower level than BPM, if that's possible.
pandora ⋅ December 15, 2019
He is not respecting you OR the other woman in his life. He is telling you that you are not number one, while expecting you to be happy with the crumbs he is dolling out. If that was a booty call, then he is saying, "I am a scumbag, and maybe you are too if you want to get together even though I have a girlfriend... let me know if you're shitty like I am."
As difficult as it is (easier said than done, I know), I think the classiest response is no response. This guy is not worth your admiration.
plushcreep ⋅ December 15, 2019
What everybody else said, plus it's a slap in the face to tell you he's not ready for a relationship and then text you that he's in one. WTF, dude? Not very classy at all.
Fred ⋅ December 15, 2019
I think a one word response like “Wow” or “Yikes” is sufficient.
I didn’t realize he’d told you he didn’t want a relationship. I thought he’d just ghosted you. Tosser.
Meeks ⋅ December 15, 2019
I'd put my hurt/angry feelings aside and respond with: I'm happy for you. Merry Christmas.
Ginger Snap Meeks ⋅ December 15, 2019
This is what I’m feeling. Thank you.
bobbi01 ⋅ December 15, 2019
I'm so disappointed in him. You are obviously still in his head. Take that as a win, and keep moving forward with being your fabulous self.
Gangleri ⋅ December 15, 2019
He's an asshole is all I see.
a girl thinking ⋅ December 15, 2019
i vote for saying nothing
Jinn ⋅ December 15, 2019
I think I would say ; I think you should be fantasizing about the woman you enjoy dating because that is the kind of woman I am and more.
Ignatowski ⋅ December 15, 2019
The time stamp of 9:45PM should tell you everything you already know.
Sugar Magnolia ⋅ December 15, 2019
People treat you the way you allow them to. You are so much better than that.
Kate ⋅ December 16, 2019
Playa!
kashka ⋅ January 02, 2020
Ewwww. He really showed his colors with this one, didn't he?