Lately I’ve been thinking I should find more people to talk to. I always overthink things before getting into them. If I’m going to talk to someone new, what’s likely to be said? What do I want to share? Etc.
The issue with this is my answer to these questions always changes. If they were to ask if I’m happy.. how do I answer that? If I’m having a good day I could just say sure. If I’m having a bad day I could go on about how life is meaningless and it’s near impossible to be happy for more than a couple of hours and I’m not even sure that’s real happiness
It reminds me of the phrase spin a story.. I’ll be honest I have no idea where I even know this phrase so maybe it isn’t a perfect fit but it’s the one that comes to mind.
I could tell my life in many ways. I could focus on the good parts or the bad parts. Some people might not think the bad ones are that bad, others might not think the good ones are that good
Which way should I tell it? I don’t want to lie, but it’s near impossible to just tell a purely emotionless and factual version of my life from where I’m sitting
In that case, should I tailor it more towards the type of people I want to speak to? I tend to prefer speaking to others who are depressed or who have issues in their life. It’s easier to relate. But is that dishonest?
I’m not sure. I don’t know how to feel about my life, myself, or anything really. Nor do I know how to speak about it. I go from thinking I’m a relatively decent person to thinking I must be a crazy manipulative person to even require thinking about this
Oh well. I’ll probably just have a nap instead.
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