Friday Morning, Quickly in These Foolish Things

I don’t feel like breaking the writing streak for October and I know I’m going to be busy for the rest of the day into evening and tonight, so I’ll just tap out a quickie now before my meetings begin.

I think the Big Wild Rancher and I have successfully blown each other off. He inquired yesterday about seeing me before my birthday and I told him that I was going to be busy until after November 1st (Birthday is October 26th). I know that may not have been the nicest way to kind of back everything down, but it wasn’t the meanest either. And he answered back saying, “I guess we’re both really busy then.”

WTF does he even do? He doesn’t work. He races cars and motorcycles and “manages” a ranch…I don’t understand how he’s possibly really busy, but he never opened up to tell me. So I guess, who cares?

I’m so sad that I can’t connect romantically with another human being. It is truly lonely in that respect.

And whyyyyy do I still think about Doctor D like he’s still the one. Oh, right. I’ll tell you why. I found a term called “transference” and I think it’s what’s happened to me. I don’t have time to get too deep into it right now, but the gist is that I’ve fallen in love with my doctor…even though he was never MY doctor in the professional sense, he was the one who “took care” of me by immediately answering any (and I mean ANY) questions I had during my health crisis. He showed up at the ER. He made love to me when I started feeling better. And yeah, I never use that term, and it was more of a sexy fuck than a lovemaking, but again, how could I NOT fall in love with the guy who I looked at as the man who SAVED MY LIFE?!

Anyway. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. Google the term “transference”. It’s a thing. And with as much that’s written about it I think it happens a LOT.

Okay. Duty calls.

Have the best Friday ever, my loves!!
GS