its a realization i have come to accept. noone wants to be around a sick person. i have cancer. i had two tumors in my head. one was removed the other couldnt be until i receive more treatments and it cooperates. i dont want sympathy or pity. i have lived my life the best i was able and i will fight to do so until my time has come.
but having people say they will always be there and then never have time to even chat when they're online already chatting or playing a game... sucks. it hurts knowing that because i am sick and for some stupid reason people with cancer are sometimes already written off as terminal when they arent and that equally sucks. im still alive. im still here. i laugh. i cry. i play video games or sketch and paint. i enjoy cooking for those i love. i wrote a family cookbook so that my mom's recipes arent lost and forgotten. i feel like i am a burden or a nuisance or annoyance to those i say hi to, who see what i type as the messenger tells me... but they never respond. i try.
i just feel sub human and not worth continuing to keep fighting.
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