Self Care, Self Care, Self Care in Life

The title of this entry is somewhat ironic but the other day I put up a post on Fbook about a reminder for Self-care to all those who need it and the very next day I’m sick as a dog (What does that even mean? Really though…)

So in efforts to break out of my rut a bit I’ve started to impose some rules upon myself. The other day I bought 8 beers and set up the rules. I could only have a beer if: I went outside, drank at least 3 glasses of water, ate 3 meals (IE no skipping breakfast/lunch) worked on sketching and worked out (or did something physically demanding). That was several days ago and I’ve only had one beer so far.

Beyond that silly little game, it’s improved my energy levels greatly (he says in a heavily slouched position with tissue hanging out of his nose). My mood has gotten better too but I feel like some of that may come from my gaming and the lack there of lately. See being on Pat leave with a newborn (Can I still call her that 8 months later?) leaves me with a lot of free time. Or rather my child isn’t at the point where she demands my full focus all the time, she actually quite enjoys independent play time. (I have no idea where I was going with this cough hack sniffle) but changing to a game that I can Pause made it a lot less focus on the game and more focus on the baby, which is really the way it should have been from the start but I like to keep my mind busy at all times, lest depressive thoughts slip in.

I think a lot of my crisis lately is wondering about my legacy, what am I going to leave behind and right now there’s not much other than these journals and I don’t really know if I’d quite call this a legacy, maybe in my lifetime someone will discover them and something absurd will happen (A boy can dream right?) but at the same time my fantasies are moments in escapism and often the return to reality is jolting at the least.