Close neighbours to cold war in Aftermath

When I first moved I became friends with a woman who I now suspect is a narcassist.

It became very whirlwind with her very fast. Several times she would start fights with me to the point where I thought we both agreed we needed to cool it with eachother and just be more friendly neighbours.

As I am still pretty new to the building compared to her and she knows alot more people than me is “popular” and runs a tenant group here, I tried to be casually friendly with her. But to no avail I always found myself getting sucked in by her again, one because I was still lonely and vulnerable and 2 I guess I feared what she would do if I wasnt.

Well finally I had enough. I have decided to go no contact. But it gets tricky because I bump into her often and usually when shes with her flying monkeys…as well as she often is very loud and monopolizes alot of the common areas.

I live in an all womens building for women who have experienced violence etc. Its subsidized so the rent is very low. So i cant outright move.

When I see her I try to keep a neautral expression but i get mini panic attacks everytime i see her and am still very hurt by the way she treated me.

She tried for awhile to be friendly but it came off as very forced and intrusive often catching me off guard as i was walking home and wpuld try to strike up conversations with me.

She also around a holiday she would slip a flyer to her tenant group events to just me under my apartment door even though she has posted them literally everywhere in the building. Elevators, buliten boards and in the mailroom. I cant seem to escape her even when i dont see her as she regularly has her event flyers posted excessively everywhere! No joke.

One time i got so panicked when i was waiting for the elevator and she was on it i didnt get in and she started yelling at me.

I feel like i am the one being the nasty bad one here but honestly deep down i have to tell myself i think i am traumatized by her and how she treated me. Chewed me up and spit me out only to continue to do that when i tried several times to just be cordial with her.

God knows what she has told others about me. I opened up to her about alot of deep things and she used to tell me alot of gossip and talk badly about other tenants that live here who she puts on a guise of “helping” she especially talks badly about those who she feels are below her or more vulnerable.

Today she allowed me to go first through the door as I was the one going out and approached the door anyways as well as she had her very hyper dog with her. I guess maybe she expected me to say thank you? I dont know maybe i should have but instead i just looked away and walked through.

Well when i came back in a few minutes she was with this other woman (who had before been nice to me) but today as i was approaching i let the woman go in first and she kind of snarled at me and barked “Go Ahead!” I can only guess that she must of told that woman what had just happened possibly. But maybe i am just paranoid.

Another time as i was in the lobby i heard another neighbour i knew say to her “oh theres Sydney…”but once again I am 2nd guessing myself and thinking maybe i am paranoid and it was another Sydney or something.

Anyways dont know really what i want out of this i guess just advice. Should I smile and say hi as I walk by? Nod? Or just keep not looking at her and ignoring her? At this point she has basically stopped saying hi to me and i think smiling at me.(i wouldnt really know because i make it a point of not looking at her if i can help it and often dont have my glasses on.)

Its been 7 months since Ive gone no contact. But it is still very hard for me. We were very close and she opened up my world living here a bit i did alot of “favours” for her and i felt i was generally a very respectful and good friend and neighbour.

Of course i am glad it is over as we live in the same building and she obviously wasnt able to give me the space I needed and was very passive agressive with me while of she did something that bothered me i was very clear and direct but direct with her but she would always make it turn into this bigger fight than it needed to be.

I felt like I was walking on eggshells alot of the time as I saw her lash out and physically assault people and throw things in public places. I was scared she would turn that violence onto me as she sort of did once by sort of shoving me once.

She has a big dog who seemed to like me and is still ok towards me and tries to come towards me but the dog can get very agressive and unruly at times. I dont try to pet him or engage with him anymore as thats mixed signals. I know she uses it as protection and has falsely gotten fraudelent tags to say it is a service dog.