She’s back. I just don’t even feel like myself. I truly feel like humanity is the problem. It’s like you know who you are, you know what you like, you know your true self. However, being around people just changes that. They always want what’s best for them. Which is understandable. You have to be selfish. Why drag people in that though? It has been a while since I felt good about myself. Every time I think I can… it never last. I know so many people struggle with this. I’m sorry. It sucks.
At this point I can’t really ever see myself being happy. I just want to be free. I never feel free. I just wonder why humans are so cruel? What happen to them to make them this way. Purposefully hurting people. You always have to be the smile though. The person everyone turns too. So strong, so bold, so helpful. Happiness Is starting to just become a mere idea. Is it even achievable at this point? I try to help as much as I can, but Im starting to see that thin. Everyday I become more and more useless. I can’t even help myself. I feel like getting away from everyone. I picture myself sometimes alone, In a sunny field. Laying in the sun. Soaking up the rays. Being happy. White dress. Hair down.
Fast in slumber to the idea of never being sad, worrying, or feeling like this.
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