I seem to be doing the crashing and burning thing that I do when I dance. I haven't been eating nearly as much as I need to be eating with the extreme amount of working out I now do everyday.
I have been eating a maximum of 300 calories, most days. On my high calorie days, I top off at about 500. I started keeping a food log again, usually they don't help me...but i figured that it was worth another try. I have seriously restricted my diet to just a few foods. Oranges, apples, greek yogurt, oatmeal, and salad. Not all in one day. It's been probably about 3 weeks of this.
Tuesday, I wasn't feeling well. You know when you just don't feel well but nothing hurts and you're not like sick to your stomach? Well that was me, just overall. I decided it was time for the doctor. I saw my doctor yesterday, she took vitals and labs. Both sucked.
My vitals totally crashed. My heart rate was super low each time she took it 42 bmp/45 bmp (1 hour later), My blood pressure also crashed when I stood up, it was 88/49. My HR and BP are usually low, just not that low. She told me I'm 2 seconds from becoming medically unstable. I've also lost 14 pounds since January 26th.My labs sucked too my potassium, iron, and electrolytes are all super low. She also said she "thinks" I have mono, but can't really tell because of all that's going on right now.
My doctor said that I probably shouldn't be dancing, and I told her that wasn't an option. So she was like how about not doing things full out and no getting up fast from the floor. I was like clearly you've never danced and we're smack in the middle of auditions for the new show season, and cleaning pieces from last season for the community outreach shows.
I talked to Meg (the main choreographer I work with, and she'll be the director of my company next season) today and basically laid it all out. She said she's concerned. That wasn't my intent, I don't want people to worry, I just thought she should know in case something happens in a class or in rehearsals. She let me dance out the day, but she said if things don't improve and I continue to get worse by Tuesday, she'll pull me out of any dances I'm currently in and won't cast me in new pieces. This was obviously not the desired effect I had in mind. I just thought that she'd check in with me, which she will....but i now I need to be more careful. Meg said that I had to keep a food log this weekend, work on eating combo foods, and maintain my current weight, then check back with her on tuesday.
She said she'd pull me out, but I don't think she will. She also said that i need to be meeting with an ED counselor, and set up a meeting for Tuesday during the lunch hour. Awesome. I'm also meeting with my Therapist on Monday, and at that time I definitely need to work on things. I have a list of things that need to be dealt with. I also now get to see my doctor every 3 weeks for labs and vitals. so stupid.
I went to two dance classes yesterday after I left the doctors office. So her saying I probably shouldn't dance, had absolutely no effect on me. I also danced all day today...13 hour dance day....so 2 less hours than usual. I still feel like crap. But I'm sure my body will adjust.
I really had no plans for eating this weekend. Though I did go to the grocery store after dance tonight and picked up things that I might be inclined to eat, if I do happen to eat this weekend. I still am not sure I'm going to, and I still want to be smaller than I am right now....tuesday was my goal. I'm still going to do that. I'm going to work out as much as I can this weekend and just really make sure that i am where i want to be when i go back to Meg's classes and rehearsals on Tuesday. I just have to make sure that the Monday staff doesn't really notice anything different.
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