I find it hard to come back here and write if I don’t write for several days and a lot of things happen. Funny, things happening are what keep me from writing the stuff down and then when I come back and I’m faced with an empty page, I’m a little overwhelmed and don’t even know where to start. So maybe I’ll bullet point a few things and come back and flesh them out. I’m gonna have a TON to flesh out! But I gotta start somewhere. Here are some prompts:
I had a good annual review from Boss yesterday. I was not 100% surprised that it was good - I mean, it wasn’t OUTSTANDING by any means, but I will say that despite it being a very *shitty* year for me (being on a PIP and worrying about getting fired every single day...my carotid artery dissecting and being called to the ER while I was at work, etc.), I got a sparkling review that was extremely complimentary of the work that I’ve done on TLIC (The Line I Created). I also have to say that I’m actually glad I’m still here after the injury. My brain hasn’t quite been the same and I still get fatigued and Boss has been beyond understanding. I have been able to stress less and still get the job done - and done WELL - and that’s been such a positive. Imagine trying to get into a brand new position and not being fully able to do things such as lifting and moving things around (my job can be extremely physical) as well as using brain power beyond capacity as you do when you’re just starting a new job. Anyway. Was a very good way to end my day.
Related, remember Dream Job? Actually, there were a couple of dream jobs I’d spied out there in the past year or so - one of them was posted at my old company (director of a department I would have been perfect for). HR from Old Company contacted me. We had a phone interview and discussed me coming in to interview when the hiring manager was back in town…and then POOF. Nothing. I was ghosted. Recently, I saw there was a manager position in the same department. This role would report to the director (the position we’d been discussing previously)…and Old Company called me about that position late last week. We talked for a bit, but I have to say… no. I don’t want to go back at a lower position than I am now. I told the HR person I’d spoken with earlier. And related to bullet point above, I’m doing okay right now at work. I listened to a podcast on my drive home from my road trip this weekend about making choices - and the fact that remaining to stay where you are is also a choice you make. So that’s the choice I’m making right now. It may change in a month, but it’s my choice right now.
Related, The Road Trip!! It was AHHHHH-may-zing!! Just me and the pooch - in a shipping container filled with reclaimed relics and delicious old furniture and luxurious bedding. It was a fun adventure and a little bit of a dream! The containers (there were 6 of them) were set up practically in the middle of nowhere AND in the middle of a cow pasture! They were set up west-facing and sunsets were incredible. The owner is a badass dude who was extremely hands-on (not in THAT way, you pervs…though I wouldn’t have minded it!) and he even build me a fire on my second night there. I want to write more of the feelings I had there and what I want to do with the inspiration that filled my head and heart while I was there. It was exactly what the doctor ordered!
And now I’m inspired to begin to write out my goals for the rest of my life. I’ve never really made a life plan and perhaps that’s been my problem. I always have let life just happen to me. It’s time to start listing out what’s important to me. I need goals. I need a framework. I need a timeline! I need to start pulling it together because I know what it’s like to be aimless. It’s time to take aim and GO FOR the things that I want…beginning with WHAT’S IMPORTANT!
So off I go with the rest of my workday. I’m plugging along. But I do know what I want to accomplish this weekend: my list of goals and my mission statements! Oh, and maybe tap out more details of my road trip…
Determinedly,
GS
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