Boys are Dumb... in 2019

For real and I have too much other stuff going on that is stressing me out without him.

My baby dog… she’s my oldest, but also my baby. Well she’s in kidney failure and has been for over 6 months now. More recently she’s become really picky about her food and doesn’t have much of an appetite. I’ve gotten her just about every medication I can think of and I’ve been fixing her food and getting her to eat is still difficult. I have literally spent over $500 in the past 2 weeks on meds and vet bills. So I’m worried about money to a certain extent too.

On top of that, the baby goats are all 8 weeks old now. That means I have to post and sell them because I can’t keep them. This causes me so much anxiety.

Then there’s work. I swear this bitch still doesn’t know how to do payroll and it being as jacked up as it is currently is causing me anxiety as well.

Then my freaking boyfriend. We’ve been fighting and while I don’t want to fight anymore, I’m having a really hard time getting past stuff. I told him the fb hearing thing bothered me and that her always running to him bothered me. At that time he asked me if I wanted him to cut off all contact with her and I told him I wouldn’t ask him to do that. I understand he has very few friends and I want him to have friends, but apparently he took me saying that as yes I want him to cut off contact but I wouldn’t tell him that??? I don’t know, but anyways like a week ago I noticed that his ex had completely disappeared from my newsfeed and at first I figured she had just turned off fb for a few days, but after like 2 days I suspected that she had unfriended and blocked me. Of course that means that he fucking said something to her about the fb stuff bothering me.

Just no… it was worse than I expected. I confronted him about it and he apparently told her I had a problem with her and that they needed to keep distance and she could only call if she really needed something. Like wtf? I never once said he couldn’t talk to her and now the only friend of his that he has remotely tried to introduce me too probably thinks I’m some crazy bitch. Not to mention, it makes me not trust him. Like when did I give you the ok to discuss my trust issues and our relationship with your ex gf? And of course now if he likes her posts or whatever it’s nothing I can see so that gives me anxiety. I really don’t like feeling like I’m in the dark on things. I don’t like feeling like I can’t trust him. I don’t like any of this. And it doesn’t seem to matter how many times I try to talk to him about how I feel. He just doesn’t seem to get it. So I’ve just stopped talking. I want this relationship to work, but I can’t continue to feel like this. I have enough stuff going on causing me anxiety without any of this relationship nonsense. And I don’t think I’m asking for a lot here.

Last updated July 10, 2020