The fine, furry and elegant folks at K-mart think I’m a girl. Or so I thought they thought. I had a job for about a week walking around K-mart and pretending I was raffling off a home full of free triple paned windows. In theory, perhaps, they really did do a raffle like once a decade, in practice, it’s a way around the don not call list. If you give a marketing company your phone number not only can they call as much as they like but they can sell the list and none of it falls under any FCC do not call law (not like those things are enforced with gusto, but, you know, if you’re a big enough of a pain in the ass local and federal authorities are obliged to look into it).
That was the last time I was in a K-Mart and they were none too happy to have me pestering their customers (many of whom could not spell K-mart if you spotted them a hyphen and a mart.). I may have bought panties, however, on line,being married and all. Whenever they send me an email they focus on panties and bras. Um, it was a good sale so went to take a look. There were eighteen reviews on the Joe Boxer thongs alone. More than half were from men and even the half of those that said they liked the way their girlfriends looked in them, half of that half admitted how durable and comfortable they were on themselves.
One doesn’t think of K-Mart as the go-to cross dressing shopping center. I don’t think cross dressers are gay or even that it’s that weird and I think the point at which I’d consider a guy a cross dresser is somewhere between pantyhose and a bra. However, there’s a reason why thongs are separated by gender (e.g. you can purchase a male thong) because, like a female blouse, without a dart stuff that isn’t supposed to fall out does. That’s why, for instance, things like wet t-shirt contests use male t-shirts, or, again for instance, drag queens tape their meat and veg’s back and up. A male thong works like a good bra; lifts and does whatever it’s called that makes things perky and prominent.
I’m trying to reconcile the sort of guy who covertly buys female panties for himself at K-Mart with the type of guy who gives them a five star review. I mean I understand the covert and economical part and I understand how a guy thinks the world of even the worst fall-apart womans panties hidden in his closet, it just that I don’t expect that guy to review on the website. In one sense I think it’s cool, giving other guys who want to wear womans panties permission, after a fashion, on the other hand it is misleading. Everyone wearing thongs has to get used to a string up the butt, guys wearing womans thongs has to get used to a string up the butt and his nuts spilling out the sides, which, I assume, with, say, tight jeans, it’s one nut a side. Ouch. As far as how that looks I assume it’s a bit like a bra that pushs outwards from the cleavage.
Mostly though I was thinking of the People of K-Mart being able to kick the ass of the people of Walmart dot com. Beer bellies hanging over the delicate bow, hairy pimpled cheeks hanging out the back and purplish kiwi’s peeking out either side of the Hello Kitty triangle in front. Perhaps I will go gouge out my eyes.
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