it’s wednesday. i meant to write about our weekend in nashville sooner. we went up to see nick’s family and to celebrate lauren’s bday on the 3rd with her. we were all so happy to see each other, and we spent saturday around their new (beautiful) house, playing with the dogs and talking.
at one point, nick and opa left to go pick up a mattress, and i was bathing ronan after lauren and i took him out to play while we sat on the patio chairs and talked. i stepped away from bathtime to grab my phone from the kitchen, where lauren and oma were talking. lauren immediately went, “shh!” and they both froze and stopped talking.
i went back into the bathroom and bathed ronan, feeling terrible about myself and just knowing they were talking about me. i fought back tears as i washed my little boy’s body. i texted nick and told him about it, and he tried to reassure me, but i just felt like shit.
i spent the rest of the day faking it and feeling depressed on the inside, and unsure of myself and my relationship to my future in-laws.
sunday, as we were leaving, i had a moment alone with opa, and he hugged me and said, “you know we love you to death, right?” then went on to tell me he asked oma about that situation and she said they were making fun of nick. he said they think i’m the best thing that has ever happened to their son, that i gave them the most perfect grandchild, and that they love me to pieces. i felt like crying. and i probably would have. it was one of the kindest gestures of reassurance anyone has ever given me. he didn’t have to say anything or address it at all, and i had no idea nick said anything to him, but the fact that he came to me directly and wanted me to know how they feel about me felt so kind and loving and unnatural, almost, because i didn’t grow up with adults like them around.
in the car, i told nick what happened, and he said that when he asked his dad about it he was really concerned and told nick that they don’t have anything bad to say about me, that all they ever say is good stuff when they’re alone. it just meant a lot to me.
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