Self obsessed? WWWM1 in My life

So this is first part of what’s wrong with me.
Since childhood I’ve been a very smart kid, I didn’t had much to do as a child, I didn’t had friends outside of school, I was never interested in sports either. This allowed me to dive deep into the realm of knowledge. I have a gluttony for all kinds of knowledge be it history, science, economics anything. In early years of my life (till grade 7) I was always a person who performed well but never shined in the spotlight. I remember being capable of something but not being confident enough to try. My best friend at that time was quite opposite. He was confident, always in the spotlight. This really started to affect me. Next year it was time for me to change the school, for someone who has friends only in school, changing school can be equivalent to a new life and I decided to make that chance count. In new school I never missed the chance to utilize my capabilities. I took part in acting and was happy to take roles others were to shy for. Now that I think the only reason I did those roles was because I was pushing myself to do everything, to utilize every chance. Soon I became popular, I discovered my formal sense of humour is great ( jokes that you crack in class and even teachers find it funny) I became even more of popular guy of class. This gave me a sense of importance. All the time I kept telling myself “if I try, I can anything”. After a 2-3 years I was in an age which I call golden age of my intelligence, i could learn new things just by reading books, school syllabus was too easy for me so I had time to learn other things shove my mind with facts, I believe that those 2 years are responsible for 60% of my academic success and social success even now in college. Later in grade 11, my friends introduced me to video games , anime..... Other stuff. As a student who didn’t needed to study much to get good marks I started more and more time in them. Now voice inside changed to ” I can do anything”. For a while all of that worked well and I forgot how to work hard. Yet I was successful in everything I tried. My acting skills improved. Even though I was physically very weak no one bullied me( I think it’s because of my friendly nature). The school ended 2 years later and I had to appear in entrance exam. Let’s get this straight college entrance exams in India are sick! There are coaching institute for every exam who teach children for 6 years how to crack these exams yet many still fail. Now here I was, a boy with no such fancy coaching, forgotten how to work hard. For a week I was so terrified I couldn’t pick up a book, I still remember that day I was sitting in my room trying to do something to pull myself out of this situation so way! I just want to relax once! Please! Then the voice reappeared and said ” you can do everything”. Only 3 days were left for the exam I just read a few formulae and voice kept repeating in my head, all my achievements flashed in front of my eyes. Then the night before my exam, I couldn’t sleep generally at such times I think about weird things like what if dinosaurs attacked us? Or some science argument within my head but this night was different, in my head were all the things I’ve lost in my life, how much better I could’ve done if I just worked hard, how much every achievement of my life depended on raw luck. I was breaking apart then the voice came back said ” I can do everything, I am awesome” . Next day I went for exam I believe it went best it could’ve been with my level of preparation. I was able to secure a government college (a government college is run by government so fees are super low I mean in whole India I am studying engineering at lowest fees possible) besides that the college was and is not as good. My parents were happy.(Also I was qualified enough for admission in bachelor program like B SC and stuff but professional degrees are valuable). Now there I was faced with the biggest challenge of my life and I passed with little efforts, my self confidence was fueled and turned into self obsession. ” I’m awesome” became my catch phrase. Later I faced many challenges , I failed in couple of them but the statement ” I’m awesome” never let me learn from mistakes. Most of my conversations became arguments to prove myself right. And people still believed me because I’m still full of facts. But now I developed a fear, a fear to be proved wrong. Yet I continued this to this day. Last week I had a conversation with one of my dearest friend about some issue, she had researched on this topic for a while yet she came to me to learn to get my opinion. The conversation like most of my conversations turned into an argument, she proposed some brilliant points which were undeniable, my dear was piercing my head, the voice repeated itself. I had to win this argument! I am never wrong! Because I’m awesome. I lied to her. I made up some facts that were completely against what she was standing for. She believed me, thanked me for the conversation. Still that conversation bubbles in my head I ask myself ” did I really won? What did I won?”.
Next week she has asked to help her learn another topic, I am thinking to apologize to her and tell her the truth but the fear still hasn’t faded. I don’t know what I’ll do, I guess I’ll figure that out on that moment.