I think this happened like two weeks ago now and I feel like it’s going to be anticlimactic, but there’s been a mad pooper on the loose in my office!
I heard from a very reliable source of juicy gossip that there was going to be a meeting for all the MEN in the office. No women were invited.
Apparently, one of the guys here in the office has been explosively clogging one of the toilets in one of the bathrooms here in the office. Not only that, this person is OBSESSED with one particular stall because every time they try to block off that particular stall, this person somehow breaks the barrier (or crawls under the stall door) and shits his brains out repeatedly!
Now. I don’t know if it’s as bad as perhaps spraying the walls with doo doo, but I also heard that the cleaning staff was revolting (and revolted!), telling the office manager that they were going to stop cleaning that bathroom. The cleaning staff also hates us all here in the office for some reason. It’s probably because we bring dogs.
Anyway, at the Men’s Only meeting, one of our SVPs had to tell all the guys that if the mad shitter doesn’t stop doing his dirty work that they were going to have to lock up the men’s room and hand out keys to use the shitter!
He also told them that every woman knows what’s going on in that meeting because shit like that spreads like wildfire!
So. That’s it. The Poop Scandal. I actually haven’t heard any more about it since the week of the meetings, so I’m assuming there hasn’t been any more incidents.
Thankfully,
GS
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