What Time Hasn't Made. in Painted in Watercolor

For a moment I believed I was past it. Maybe for even longer than just one moment. Spare seconds I spent letting it sit, simmer, repeat through my brain, like there is an answer, a yes or no...A feeling, or none. But the sun today... It's truly bright, and the sky is blue, and without feeling it..staying far from the glass windows, one could almost believe it to be warm outside. And there I am again..in that picture. In that moment I don't think the world could ever have existed less in...My heart races a little faster...feeling the wind that sat on the edge of that mounting..Remembering the exhilaration of the hundreds of feet below us filled with trees, and the endless sky above...that looked much like todays sky. Will that moment ever fade? Even without the picture we share? Nothing makes my heart beat like that. .and all those things were someone else. I'm terrified of never feeling that again. I feel defeated..More hung up on the idea of what was...feelings that never needed development and only ever existed as raw and real as we were. I want to be moved with passion from the inside...That soul movement. I get why now, he has said the things he has. How he wishes this would go away..and when he had, it broke me a little..But now..I wish it too...I just want to feel that without him..Away from him. Im not afraid of letting it fade now...but it just won't. Time. ..they say, time.