Ok, so there is an off chance that I will go blind one day and, after the fact, need to meet some wayfaring diarist and --- no, this isn’t a set up for a masturbation joke, I’ll go blind in a normal fashion; from looking at things. Ok, so that’s probably not normal, but no matter how much jerk off jokes might crack up fourteen year old boys (of any age or gender) I’m almost positive you can’t really go blind from jerking off, but how would you know? Don’t you close your eyes?
I’m serious, sort of, because I desperately need to justify one of the dumbest impulsive things I’ve done in my whole … year. You think you can guess but you can’t. I might even be the first person you know who has done this, I’m sure the first person I know who has done this. I bought monogramed T-Shirts. Yeah, the blind diarist thing is a stretch but I don’t have a better reason, and, if the whole monogrammed T-shirt notion wasn’t goofy enough, it’s not going to be my initials. The T-Shirts will read Haredawg. On the off chance that you do know someone with a vee neck regular cotton t-shirt with a factory rolled parchment colored cursive font on forest green with a monogram on it, I’m willing to bet a year’s wages the Tee doesn’t say Haredawg. Ok, so I don’t really make wages, but you’re lying anyhow. Or, you know, they stole my last monogrammed Tee’s, which is why I need to replace them.
Heh.
Oh and at least the Tee’s will match my passport.
Heh again.
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