So I haven’t posted anything in a while so thought it would be fun to jump back into it.
So if you have read previous entries of mine, you know that a week ago I met a girl and started hanging with her. I am happy to report that we are still together. Not “together” together, but we are still hanging out and stuff. We are moving towards that though, and it makes me happy! Thank god it wasn’t just the meth talking lol. We had our first official date yesterday morning actually! Nothing crazy, just breakfast at a steak n’ shake since I work third shift and my check was pretty light this week due to my vacation I took last week. It was cool. We pretty much spent the whole day together after that at her house watching Netflix and cuddling on her couch.
I have a really good feeling about her, as far as being with her. It is refreshing to have someone who is crazy about you. Like I have no felt this way in a very long time. Since me and my high school sweetheart broke up. I mean this was the girl I almost married and started a family and life with. We were together for almost three years. Baby names picked out and everything. That kind of love. We were a very toxic couple though, which is why it did not work out and we are no longer together (but that is a completely different entry for a different day)
I spent a long time getting over her. Hell, I am finally able to say I have moved on from her.
The girl I am with now is not my rebound or anything like that. Before we even meet, I sent my ex an apology letter as sort of my way of finally ending everything and moving on. I admitted to her every toxic and terrible thing I did to her and put her through. It was good closure for me. I think that is why I am finally able to move on to someone else.
But anyway, to get back on track, All is well in our world. Hopefully things progress more, but I am not rushing anything right now. We both are not. We are just enjoying the freedom and happiness we find in each others company at the moment and you know what, I am ok with it.
Now to the “ugly” side of things. We are still currently getting high together, however, I have stuck to my word and have waited until the weekend when I do not have to be responsible. But pretty much all of yesterday we were shooting dope again. It is what it is. We did not go as crazy as we did last week though so I guess that is good lol Just enough to knock us out for a good little chunk of time to amplify our cuddling sessions. I know it is a slippery slope, but I got this. I actually just got a promotion at my job. With this new title, comes a whole new set of responsibilities very important responsibilities at that. Without naming names, I will now be in charge of overseeing the loading of a cargo plane every night throughout the week. With this as well is the possibility of random yearly drug screening, since my work is tightly monitored by the FAA. Due to this, I think this weekend is the last time I will be getting high for a while, since I do not want to ruin this opportunity I have worked my ass off for. We were talking one night, and she actually asked me if we could be sober the next time we hangout, well her exact words were “sober, like just smoke weed” , which when you are speedballing meth and heroin, yeah I would say smoking a bowl is staying clean lol.
I think that statement there is what really gives me hope that we are going to end up together. A relationship that was discovered by drugs, but now wants to be clean. Like she likes me that much, she is willing to get clean with me, since honestly besides my one week of the year, I really do not get high anymore. I mean i smoke weed, but like I said, compared to meth and heroin? I think it is ok.
Apologies if this was a weird flow, I am kinda sick right now from the dope and probably do not make much since. Happy memorial day everyone! Remember why we celebreate and do not take anyones sacrifice, especially those who made the ultimate one, for granted. Stay safe everyone!
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