Really busy day at office yesterday - lots of moving of product (I’m not supposed to lift anything over 10 lbs, so lots of lightweight back and forth), down to the factory that’s 15 minutes away - working with machine operators and factory managers making sure our production methods on the new styles will go together correctly. Not bad and normally not a hard day, but it was exhausting to me yesterday. I’m so grateful that people are being patient with me lately. I know it looks like I’m back to normal, but I’m working hard to “look” that way.
Was in bed at 8:20 last night and slept through the night save for about 15-20 minutes of awake time there in the middle. Good night’s sleep for sure!
Feeling these…not headaches, but more like head “twinges” where it feels like the start of a headache on random places on the left hemisphere of my head (same side as carotid injury). They will pop up randomly - sometimes my temple, sometimes the back of my head, sometimes my sinus behind my left nostril, and sometimes my front tooth on the left side! Never the right side. And they go away after about a minute. And the left side of my scalp has been painful and tender for days now. Some things to discuss with doctors for sure.
I haven’t worked out at Orangetheory for over a month now. I paid for all of the month of April on the 3rd - that’s the day of the month that they charge me for a whole month - the same day the “incident” happened, and do you know that they charged me on May 3rd for the whole month of May after I canceled my membership the day after I was out of the hospital (April 12th)? I emailed them, telling them that I’d canceled, but apparently you have to give them a 30-day notice and THEN, after that 30 days, the following month you can stop your payments. I called BULLSHIT on that, telling them that I suffered a life-threatening injury AT YOUR GYM AND YOU’RE STILL CHARGING ME TO NOT WORK OUT THERE ANYMORE? I almost DIED in your gym and you still want me to pay?!
Funny, I’d actually gotten a sweet card in the mail from all of the coaches and the manager at this particular Orangetheory location. Every one of the staff signed the card…I’m guessing except for the person who charged me!
Anyway, after my curt email, someone from the gym called me to tell me that they were refunding me for the month of May. Well gee, thanks. Just another example of how you truly have to advocate for yourself. And get loud if you have to. Life is not cut out for the quiet or meek. Or the injured.
I haven’t even started working on my medical expenses yet. I’m not quite ready to delve into that. I’m not even 100% sure of all of my coverages and I’m just exhausted thinking about it. I’ve looked at it a couple of times on my insurance webpage and things seem to keep changing and updating, so I’m going to wait until actual bills start coming through. Ugh. Bottom line is, even though I’m covered by insurance (and thank god for that), it’s still confusing and expensive.
And I haven’t even mentioned the thing that is SO glaring it hurts. I don’t have the one thing that I’ve wanted my whole life: a partner in this situation. I go to bed at night just aching for someone to be there and hold me while we’re sleeping. I want someone to talk with who will just hold my hand and discuss my days and soothe me when I wake up at night. I want to know that someone is there who will be by my side. I don’t have that security and makes me feel more alone than I’ve ever felt.
And yes, I know I have my wonderful friends and I know I have people to call in an emergency. But it’s that loving support from a partner that I crave.
I’ve contacted the therapists that [Athena] gave me the names of. I am working on getting in to see one. But at the end of the day, no therapist is going to get me a soulmate to lean on.
I know this sounds very woe-is-me, and it is for sure. It’s how I’m feeling deep inside. Physically, I feel probably as good as I can right now. Emotionally, this has thrown me for yet another loop.
Oh, and by the way, I haven’t heard a peep from CD in a couple of days. And Dr. D seems to have put me back in the friend zone. So. Bleh.
xox,
GS
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