…of talking and thinking about it.
I’m so tired of my injury and subsequent illness and everything that is surrounding it. But I must think about it and monitor myself and keep pushing through.
So I’m in a weird spot.
Because, on the one hand, I don’t look injured or even sick. Sometimes I don’t even feel injured or even sick, so nobody really has to know.
But on the other hand, if people don’t know, then I can screw myself over with having to move too quickly and hurting myself even further. I need to always be watching for signs of stroke (I just read that up to 86% of people who have my condition also have a stroke), plus the wacky blood pressure stuff, PLUS the complications of being on these meds.
Tomorrow I get to tell my nail technician to be very, very careful during my pedicure. I know, first world problems, but I gots em.
I saw CD last night. It wasn’t an easy night, even though we took it easy with a dog walk to a lovely patio where we had a small dinner. He had one fancy beer and I had club soda.
CD is super quick witted and of course, I wasn’t on my A-game and (yes, I’m being hard on myself) I don’t know if I made a very good second impression. I thought maybe he was friend-zoning me, and maybe he still is. And of course, that makes me want him more.
He sent some texts about being one of those “friends” who’d come and make out with me in the parking lot if I needed it today, but he also didn’t kiss me at the end of the night last night. I wanted him to!!
I had lunch today with Goldilocks (my friend at work) and she told me to flirt in the way that he does, but keep the word “friend” out of my texts. I like that idea.
Dr. D has pretty much friend-zoned me as well.
It’s just a weird time, people. I thank god that I’m alive and still kicking enough to still want love in my life, but I’ve also asked my mom to please call me every night to check on me for fear I die and the dog eats my face.
xox,
GS
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