Day 1 in Mental Rambling

Saw a psychiatrist two days ago over my depression. Not even my wife knew how bad it was. Within the last month, when no one is home, I’ve sat on my bed holding my gun thinking of everything and contemplating my end twice. My family is what keeps me from doing it. My psychiatrist changed up my dosages on my meds and I’m utilizing PB to try to keep tabs of my days and if I notice any changes. This is day 1 on my medicine so not seeing anything yet obviously. Here’s to a clearer mind.