April 3rd in Posso's Prompts

“I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m popular.” - Gretchen Wieners, Mean Girls

As a bartender, I have loads of stories of missed connections, weird meetups, socially awkward interactions between blind dates, all the good kinds of stories about the adventures (and misadventures) of love.

Let me preface this to people that may not know me. I am not a model by any means and I definitely am not a ruggedly handsome looking bartender. Still, I’d like to think my inflated ego, combined with my charm and quick wit gives me ample opportunities at pursuing cute ladies.

There’s one thing that drives me absolutely nuts when it comes to girls at a bar though. It is impossible for me to take you seriously when you go out of your way to make it known that you are ‘going out of your way to change your standards’ just for little ol’ me.

“Usually, I don’t talk to guys like you, but you seem different. Can I have an extra shot of Jack Daniels in there for free though?”

“This place isn’t for me, the guys are always flocking to me and buying me drinks, I never pay for my own. You can’t just let me have this drink because I’m the hottest woman you’ll see all night?”

“I don’t think you’re making these drinks strong enough. I saw you pour that girl different, what is she your friend? Girlfriend? Do you even like girls?”

Those are just some of the dialogues that come to my head right now.

I’m not saying at all that I don’t respect women. I don’t respect the women that demand I cater to them because of their looks, money, superficial shit. You’d be surprised how well I make a drink for anyone until they rush me with their entitled bullshit. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely do not tolerate some asshat manchild that does the same thing to me. I just seem to have to deal with more women that give me this problem when they go out to drink their cosmos and lemon drops. I’m not even asking to be respected, I just don’t need to be belittled into thinking I can’t do my job because you don’t know how to mix alcohol and cranberry juice together properly.

If you can hold a conversation, make me laugh through sarcasm or a one liner, or better yet, know you’re beautiful and not have to mention it when you order whiskey shots for you and your knob of a bumble date, you’ll always get something free out of me for the effort of being a good human being.

Last updated April 05, 2019