Ben and I in My Life

Of course, it continues. The night this all took place was carefully planned out. We had money saved up and we knew what we were going to do. Well, I thought we did but he had other plans that I barely know of to this day. But like any fourteen year old, I fell for his lies. Over and over again. We met up in Morristown, TN and we did a few regrettable things. (For those wondering, we had sex.) Then we went on our way.
I don’t know why but I was so tired. I can barely remember anything from that night except the few ‘fun’ times we had. We both got something out of it. I got to feel loved and he got the pleasure he desired. We were gone for fifteen days and it was full of mixed emotions. I was sad that I didn’t get to see my family and I was happy that I got great sex out of it. (Don’t worry he wasn’t my first so you can shame me and not him.)
We survived off of blackberries and crab apples when we did not run into some camper that has been in the woods for several days that would give us food.
What I can remember is all of the trees and the feelings of uneasiness. We did not get to shower so of course we stunk. But I can remember the day the cops came in and busted us. Ben told the lady to turn us in because he had suspicions that I was pregnant. Which was true for a short while.
When the cops busted in, I can just remember the feeling of betrayal from the woman and Ben. I couldn’t look them in the eyes. I was ashamed of the fact that there were males officers and no female officers. The lady swore up and down that she used Ben’s phone to call them but we did not have a phone on us.
When we got picked up, I was taken to the hospital. I was tired and sick to my stomach. They did a rape kit and asked me if I wanted to see my family. I went into tears and told them no because I thought they would hate me. Of course, they didn’t hate me and they were glad to see me. But there was an emotional distance that there was that I hated.