Humour at my Expense. in Other life events.
- Feb. 18, 2014, 9:28 a.m.
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- Public
My motivation is a rock bottom low so i'm going to vent here since i have noone to do it too.
Firstly, people are shit. I am sick to death of people, selfish cold blooded creatures, fit enough to be lizards. Slimey horrible people, everyone is the same and they're all fucking scum.
I can't even be bothered being nice about it, i can't even put a finger on the last nice thing people did for me, i keep catching stuff out even on from my "best friend". I'm second best and it's all i will ever be to people, i'm simply white noise in a population buzzing with talent and motivation.
Firstly, i tried to befriend someone and they have blanked me like we didn't even talk, it's not really a big deal to most people but it really effects me confidence for the first time in years i go out of my way to be nice to someone else and be completely selfless. Why am i so pathetic to people, everyone seem's to meet at least one person who see's something special in them and wants them in there life, i can't even simply make a friend.
Secondly Sean, my only friend in the world grows more distant every time he spends time with his girlfriend and then lies through his teeth to me. Whatsapp alerts you when someone has read a text and tells you when they are "online" which means they have whatsapp open. I've tried to not be selfish and promised myself i wouldn't let his relationship effect me feelings but he read my message at 9:50am and then another at 10:30 and then only replied at 11:30am almost 2 hours later. It's convenient that he said he would pick me up when it hit 12:15 when his girlfriend is in work at 12:00. I would of preferred him saying he just wanted to spend time with his girlfriend. I even said "did you get a good nights sleep?" and he replied "yea didn't get up till 11:30" Because we have argued before about ignorance and i guess he was just trying to reinforce that he hasn't been ignoring me even though all the proof is there.
Thirdly, we finally go to work on the car and i find a dint the size of south africa in the side of one of my doors, door is completely bent out of shape and in that state we can't even weld a wing on because it won't be aligned correctly. The unit door from our neighbors has clearly struck my car door. I brought it up with him and he claimed he was "awfully sorry" and then began making jokes about it later on, he's a well off guy with a super good job and has a show winning car. My car may seem like a piece of shit to him, but i put all of my money and effort in it, every single penny i made has gone into that car.
Why is it always me, i suppose it doesn't matter how much i vent today. I was walking home just hating everything and every single other person; staring at trucks thinking, would it even hurt if i stepped out? Walking over bridges thinking, would i feel a thing from this height?
I can't do this much longer to be fair, nobody deserves to live a life where nobody notices you, let alone respects you. I can't do anything right, i tried my hardest to turn my life around but i give up.
I'm a joke.
foxen ⋅ February 18, 2014
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