Survey - 50 Little Things (stolen from Tempestuous1) in Survey Says.. Nonsense!

1. How many pets do you own? I am the proud servant to two amazing dogs – Sam and Dean. They have been with me since my first surgery back in 2008. Had to put our 17 year old dog Sylvia to sleep shortly before my surgery. Was the first time we didn’t have a dog and post-op I was home when a burglar broke in. Cops and local TV news came out.. anyway, we adopted Sam and Dean shortly thereafter. The only time I’ve ever had someone break in was that brief period when we had no dog(s). Caroline brought with her the amazing Twizzler aka Twizz. I call him Fuzzy Bear as he’s rather, well, fuzzy. And he’s also Third Dog as he likes to go on walks with me, Sam, and Dean and is very much a dog in disposition. Phenomenal cat. He also likes to rest on various trash cans. He’s Trash Panda. I also take care of an old roommate’s two cats Dr. Bombay and Pudding Cup.

2. What’s your least favorite season? Summer, because in the swamp you walk outside and you’re literally wading through a blanket of humidity that is hugging you against your will. It’s quite unpleasant. Briefly when I lived in Texas after Katrina it was super hot, but you find shade? The temperature drops precipitously. Not in New Orleans..

3. Do you prefer to text or call? Call. Hearing the other person’s voice allows for better communication and I’m pretty awesome at carrying conversations.

4. Morning or night? Night owl. Hootie hoo! Okay, that sounded dumb as hell. I’m basically a vampire. Much better.

5. Do you like tacos? You have to maintain a certain amount of hatred of happiness to not like tacos.. what do you do on Tuesdays?

6. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I’m an extrovert, or so I’ve been told.. ;) I do tend to collect introverts, though!

7. What’s your favorite dessert? Well, this needs to be more specific doesn’t it? Like are we discussing pastries? Ice creams? Cakes? Brownies? .. I don’t have the biggest sweet tooth anymore, but if I had to pick one thing I suppose it would be a really, really good praline or beignets fresh from Cafe du Monde in the French Quarter..

8. Do you enjoy walks? I do! Since having my leg cut on in October I miss walking my boys tremendously. I’m only just now getting back to doing so, though it’s painful as hell. So worth it. Exercise and nature really are the best medicines. I know, I’ve become one of those people..

9. Are you a frequent user of Facebook? Sometimes. I quit for a very long time. Then I realized some of my more adulting friends only have time for it and I kinda miss their lives so..

10. Do you watch animated shows still? I’ve been forced to watch Big Mouth a few times. That hairy penis from the hormone monster, whoa.. yeah, you read that right.

11. Can you roll your tongue? I can roll my r’s.. ha, probably? It’s a talent I have underdeveloped. Guess you’ll have to find out.

12. What’s your “lucky” number? 13, obviously. Not because this is the 12th question. Birthday – June 13th. :)

13. Are you scared of anything? Wanna see a former fat man qualify for the Olympics in sprinting? Yeah.. snakes. No thanks. Not a fan of heights, either. I’ve been known to shriek. I’m man enough to admit it. :P

14. Big mac or big whopper? Whopper, I guess? They both used to be so delicious when I was a kid. Now? I feel horrid after eating either. Less so with the Whopper. Remember when flame broiled used to be awesome? And that Big Mac’s patties of beef were actually thicker than a small install CD?

15. Do you like to play board games? Yeppers peppers. My friends own hundreds of board games. I’ll beat your ass at Trivial Pursuit though. I just do sports questions and usually win. :)

16. Are you fond of romantic novels? I accidentally wrote a trashy romance novel. I’m also not a fan. Both true stories.

17. Fruit Loops or Cocopops? Isn’t it Coco Puffs? Who knows. I mean, give me the artificial rainbow circles! The milk after they sit in it tastes so good! Odd fact – I think sugar or sweetener added to milk is disgusting. However, cereal soaked milk is delicious. Hypocritical or oddly logical?

18. Would you eat a live spider for one million dollars? Yes, Joe Rogan, I would. I’d do it to survive if I was starving, as would most of us so.. (and you think you wouldn’t, but survival instincts are intense and how many of us have ever been put in a do this or die scenario?)

19. Are you a heavy drinker? I quit drinking alcohol in September 2016. But I will fuck up some Crystal Light. Ya heard?

20. Would you forgive someone for cheating? I absolutely forgive. I also never forget. It has always been a dealbreaker for me, and I’m not sure that will ever change. I have always said that if you betray my trust we’re done. Friends, romance, whatever.. if I can’t trust you, I don’t have a place for you.

21. Are you superstitious? I mean, the Saints only win when I wear my new shirt is a well-reasoned thought process. Superstition is silly, am I right?

22. Have you seen A Clockwork Orange? I tried to recently. I fell asleep midway almost as if it were clockwork..

23. Do you like to read? I’m on a diary site, so..

24. Are you easily distressed? Nope. Speaking of Cafe du Monde my brother, mother and I went at like 3am for beignets in like 2001? Ran into my younger brother’s old high school friends there and one of them came and hung with us for a bit. He hadn’t seen them in years. My mother used to give him rides and worked with him volunteer in their school library. So I guess he’d heard of me because he goes, “You’re the cucumber!” I know, rarely is one recognized as famous with that line, right? Jealous, I can tell.. anyway, my puzzled look urged him to explain as my mother laughed. “Your mom always said you were unflappable. No matter what would happen you were as cool as a cucumber. Things rolled off you like water off a ducks back.” I looked at my mom and asked her if she only spoke to people in overused cliches. I mean, really.

25. Do you believe in aliens? Yes. And I don’t believe a wall is going to help anything. It’s a joke, people.

26. If you were the last person alive besides one other person you get to choose, who would it be? I mean, I’d say Jennifer Lawrence but she gets mad about situations like that. Chris Pratt found that out in Passengers. (Horrible movie, by the way, despite those fantastic actors..) so I’ll go with Scarlett Johansson. I’ll roll those dice any day.. and I’ll let you decide if I meant that seriously or not.

27. Dogs or cats? DOGS. Loyalty. Empathy. Security… look I love all animals, but it’s not a contest. Cause if it was dogs would win it. Ha.

28. Are you a grumpy person? Only when my team loses. Otherwise I’m a damn treasure.

29. What’s something you hate? The Los Angeles Rams, I mean did you see that bullshit? Those referees. Roger Goodell. Anthony Davis? You spent 7 years making yourself so loveable and you’ve shredded that in such short order it’s stunning. . Alabama? The Atlanta Falcons? I could go on..

30. Are you a worry wart? I’ve been known to evaluate things extensively.

31. Do you like having your picture taken? Absolutely. I stopped charging for it a while ago, in fact.

32. Do you like cotton candy? Eating it is sort of enjoyable, but the sticky finger residue thing is right up there with overflowing honey.. you reconsider all of your poor life’s choices instantly.

33. Would you ever use a dating site? I have tried it, and girls when they tell you they don’t want to have sex with you right away sometimes are lying. Who knew? I’ve met more relationships on OD/PB than I have on dating sites. And given my track record maybe that’s a bad thing lol..

34. Do you believe in ghosts? I live in New Orleans. And I believe in Nicholas Cage. So yes.

35. Rap or pop? Pop is a music styling NOT a term referencing soda or soft drinks!

36. What’s the weirdest flavor of ice cream you’ve tried? Avocado bacon? Or something to that effect. Creole Creamery has some really good ice creams if you ever visit NOLA. It’s been featured on Food Network along with half of my city’s venues it seems.

37. Do you like math? Haha, do you like being punched in the groin?

38. Are you the type of person to laugh at others misfortune? Hell yes. We all do. I’m just man enough to admit it, then actually do it, and make comments that highlight the suffering in new ways that enhance the humor of the situation. I’ve got a dark sense of humor sometimes. Nothing should be off limits with comedy..

39. Love or lust? Ugh, I’m a romantic. Fuck. Except with tender feelings and I’ll hold you after.

40. Do you remember lyrics easily? I don’t even remember my own poetry or writing. And some of those have been made into songs.. so.. I mean for some songs yeah I do. But I gotta listen to it a lot. Usually.

41. What was/is your favorite school subject? Psychology/History I want to study all of your flaws that make up your person and then the past failures of us as a people. What isn’t fun about that?!

42. Do you like tattoos? Haha, it depends entirely what it is of and where it is placed.. some spots on a lady should not have ink there, in my opinion. And that’s all it is, go inkblot your body to your own content, that’s your right. I reserve the right to find it preposterous and mock it if done poorly. I’m kidding. Kinda.

43. Are you the type of person to lie? Hell no. I got that good Catholic guilt upbringing. I’ll be honest even to my own detriment.

44. Do you eat porridge for breakfast? Isn’t that like storybook oatmeal? Kinda surprised just now thinking about it that Disney hasn’t branded it and tried to put Quaker out of business..

45. What music are you listening to right now? ESPN. I know, it explains a lot doesn’t it?

46. Are you allergic to anything? Yes. Sulfa drugs literally. Selfish fucknuggets figuratively.

47. Do you like Lady Gaga? I mean, as much as one can appreciate her talent while finding her name stupid beyond words.

48. What about Nick Minaj? That part about talent with Gaga? That would be nada with Minaj..

49. Do you like rainy days? Absolutely. I love the rain. I love the water. I live in New Orleans. On one side of the city is the Mississippi River. The other side is Lake Pontchartrain. And we get more rainfall each year than Seattle, Washington does. So yes, I love the rainy days. It’s rained 4 times this past week. And I just got squeak-free new wipers. Oh, the heavenly bells that ring when there is no sound but the rain..

50. Last question, do you like pie? Just about every kind. I’ll let that marinate in your imagination.

Hope you enjoyed the survey. You’re welcome for the laughs. If you enjoy poetry and the baring of one’s soul through creative words juxtaposed then head an entry back and read/comment/adore my work. If not, well, I can’t say I blame you. Not everyone can be an artist and have appreciation for it.. okay, I’m kidding. Have a good one you crazy kids.

Now, go make someone’s day. Especially your own.

May you always find your smile.