how i feel... in Myself and life as its been

There are things I just cant share out loud, so here it is, there are days I wish I want to die, not because im having a bad life, its just how I feel, most people think the same thing when they are not feeling great emotionally but I do feel like this and not that id ever commit suicide. I dont think I could do that to my family but at the same time it would tare me to piece’s if I ever lost any of them an id rather be dead first than to go through that. I love my family very much.