There was this character on OD, maybe still is I’ve been a little preoccupied with my own misery the last few years, that was very well drawn and, if a gun was to my head, I’d say the most talked about diary that ever was on that site. I’ve had one conversation or another with most of y’all about that diary, ashamed to admit I haven’t had the exact same conversation with all y’all, I mean I do lean towards ingratiating just a tad, and with a few of y’all I had the conversation y’all seemed to need (not being cagey, just that some folks really needed to believe it was a guy and not a character).
I want it stated for the record I thought this diary was genius and I was a huge fan for the first few years. I also have to say though it was very tight for years and had an excuse before you could make an objection, there was at least one huge hole; the obvious one, the one we’ve trained ourselves to overlook when, for instance, watching a movie; where the fuck did the camera come from? We are even quicker to overlook it in a book, that third person god narrator who knows the intimate thoughts of everyone and though seemingly not directing the story has made every choice for us. What I mean is that the story was too good for the character and the character was too well drawn to have drawn himself.
I shouldn’t even have to type the name Michael. I did but shouldn’t have had too. I also shouldn’t mention that being too preoccupied with my own misery doesn’t mean I was consumed, just too preoccupied to follow a soap that had jumped the shark years prior. I know it’s a dismissive phrase that means a TV show has lost its mojo and doesn’t give the show credit for having had mojo, I think the diary author just ran out of places to go, god knows he or she went far beyond where I could have possibly taken it. I say that with respect and humility. Even as recently as two years ago when the young epileptic vagabond was finishing up his medical residency people were asking me if I believed it were true. I had to look to see what on earth could possibly have happened to make anyone have a doubt.
I don’t know, 20/20 hindsight and all that, I don’t think there was a time I wondered, not saying I’m really sharp or anything, just that I’m always aware of the camera, I mean it was well written and if it’s still up and available to the public you should go check out the beginning for yourself. We want to suspend our disbelief, we strive for it, it’s a multi billion dollar industry and this guy gave it away for free. Also in the early days, at least in the crowd I liked to hang with, you didn’t ask very hard how real someone was and expected the same courtesy. I know I didn’t write personal things about my own life, I’m still a little surprised strangers give a shit. My own life isn’t very interesting, I mean unedited, I make cuts here and there and piece together things, but you know, I spend a lot of time eating and shitting and typing and sleeping and having conversations that are dull and none of your business or interesting and none of your business. Again, another chunk of incredulity regarding the Michael Diary, some new misadventure per entry. Not only Where-The-Fuck-Did-That-Camera-Come-From but How-Can-Someone-That-Broke-Afford-The Daily-Film? Um, yeah, how does someone living on the streets having misadventures and seizures and shit even get to internet access? I know, the library. Yeah, no.
There’s this guy who I think does do that and he is fascinating, but not brilliant and his adventures involve how to live on a twinkie; no sexual misadventures, no expensive drug habit, no crippling neuropathy, no miraculous med school double life. Just how to get from one twinkie to the next. I don’t know why someone would make that up. I know why someone would make up Michael; because it’s brilliant. If I was good enough to do that my pride would have gotten the better of me within the year. The one or two odd nemesis who accused me of being Michael I just let my silence be the voice of complicity.
So why bring it up now? A friend of mine and I were discussing the possibility of the same guy or gal following the same crowd to prosebox. The conversation was bit more focused than that, but you know, it’s under what business is who’s. As far as I’ve been able to tell, and I haven’t really being paying very close attention, prosebox is made up exclusively of OD folks. I’d be surprised if there were a man jack or woman jack among you who’ve never heard of Michael. Would he be welcomed here or a rat in the flour?
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